It's Christmas Time

Something about this time of year makes me slow down to reflect on this life God has given me.  It is so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, especially everything the Christmas season brings.  But no matter how long the "to-do" list is, how jam packed our schedules may be, or anything else life throws at me, I cannot forget why we are celebrating and this sparks reflection on my own life.

I remember the Christmas Story in the Bible, and the mommy in me tries to imagine how Mary must have felt through her experience of expecting, giving birth to and raising the Son of God, Jesus.  When I think about Mary's life and how she honored God through it, I begin to question if I could have even come anywhere close to how she so graciously handled it all.

Ultimately I come to the question "Am I honoring God through this life He has given me?"  There are some things I feel I can answer with certaintly... I know God created me to be a wife and mom to my family.  I am confident God has put on both Ben's and my heart to adopt from the Dominican Republic.  I am indescribably grateful for the parents God gave me and the childhood I had.

But still, I can't help but fear and wonder if I will ever live up to everything God created me to be.  How much of my life am I taking for granted?  Am I really showing God's love through my actions? I know I am blessed beyond measure and yet still I find room to complain or be frustrated.

I think Christmas time and particularly Christmas cards and letters send me into a nostalgic, reflective mode that makes me take account of the past year and sometimes more.  As I try to recap my little family's past year into a Christmas letter I think back to all the highs and lows. 

I know that when I weigh the blessings against the difficult times the blessings far outweigh everything else and yet I can so easily be consumed by what I think seems urgent in the moment.  Questions like What if we aren't able to save enough money to adopt?  How will we afford to fix the rental house now that our tenants are out?  How can I find the energy to be the wife and mom my family needs me to be?

I am learning to turn my doubt and fear into trust and faith.  Trust that God's plan is far greater and more perfect than anything I could begin to dream up on my own.  Faith that He is always there and will meet all my needs.

I am a natural planner and like to be in control of when and how things happen, but perhaps I need to worry less about if I am in control than if HE is in control.  I am thankful I don't have to have it all together and can lean on Him to get me through the good and the bad.  I am doing my best to praise him through all things and to be content with my circumstances.

Family

Wow, it has been almost 3 months since the last post.  We are (mostly) settled in the new house, Shannon has started kindergarten, I've gone back to work for another school year, Amelia continues to show us her abounding joy for life and Ben's honey-do list is never ending.  In short, life has been cruising by right before our eyes.  And through it all, good and bad, I cannot deny we are truly blessed.

From time to time, people ask me how things are going with the adoption and there is a part of me that aches when I don't have anything to update them with.  But, there is no where I would rather be than right here, right now with my family.  Life can get crazy busy, but being the mom and wife to the family God has given me is the best (and hardest) job, blessing, responsibility, opportunity, experience, LIFE I could imagine.

We really don't have anything new to update about the adoption.  We are still planning to adopt.  We still believe God has put the Dominican Republic on our hearts in terms of the where and a sibling group in terms of the who.  The specifics of how, when and just who will be a part of that sibling group are not something we can answer right now. 

Not a day goes by that I don't pray for my family - my WHOLE family.  My devoted husband, my precocious Shannon, my passionate Amelia AND the children I have yet to meet.  My heart aches for whoever those children are out there that will someday join our little family.  I pray for their safety, for them to know love, for their health, for their happiness, for their future, for the transition into our family.  And then, I say those same prayers for the two sweet girls we already have.  I pray for God to give me the strength to be the mom and wife I need to be for our family - now and as it grows.   I pray.

I pray for hope and guidance.  It is far too easy to panic and think of all the details surrounding growing our family through adoption.  Where will the money come from?  Who will take care of things here when we are there?  Will my work and Ben's work understand when we need to take significant time off (at least 60 days for Ben and potentially 8 months for me) to go to the Dominican Republic to meet our children and bring them home?  How will the girls handle living abroad (and for some of it, away from dad)?  How will we adjust once we are home?  How will all of us grow into a larger family?  So many unanswered questions.

I don't know how to answer these and so many other questions swimming around in my head.  For now, I am choosing to trust in HIS timing and HIS plan.  I am also mindful not to miss the blessings happening every day and to cherish each day with my family.  I am indescribably excited, anxious, blessed, frightened, amazed, nervous, hopeful and so many other feelings I can't even begin to name to be on this adventure with my family. 

Home, Sweet Home!!!

Today was our big move!  We will be spending our first night in our new house tonight as a family.  The move went incredibly well.  We are so blessed to have had help from family and friends - we couldn't have done it without all of them.

Last night, the girls got to spend the night with their Grandma Betty and Grandpa Dave while Ben and I powered through packing and getting ready for today.  While I really missed my sweet little girls, it was great to be able to just focus on packing and know my girlies were getting lots of love from my parents.  I am so grateful to all the help they have been for our family this summer and always.

Ben's parents were a huge help to us as well.  They gave us a housewarming gift of new carpeting in the whole house and as if that was not enough they have also taken over cleaning up the old house to help get it ready for our new tenants.  We are certainly blessed to have great parents and we are thankful for all they do.

The move itself went very well.  Ben and I got everything all onto the main level of the old house before everyone came and we were all loaded and heading to the new house before noon!  The unloading went very smooth and pizza was delivered right as the last box was being carried into the house.  Lunch was a welcome break for fellowship and resting our sore muscles after all that heavy lifting!

We were blessed again when friends from our church mini-congregation stayed even longer to help unpack a few boxes and make sure all our beds were assembled so that when we needed to crash we could.

My mom helped to by watching the girls all day and by the time she brought them to us their rooms were all set up and it was dinner time.  We ate the leftover pizza and then the girlies enjoyed exploring their new rooms and the rest of the house.  Another blessing was how easily they went down for bed in a new environment for them.

God is definitely doing great things for our family and we are so excited to see what He has in store for our family as it grows.  Moving into our new home is a big step as we begin the adoption journey.  Hopefully once we are all unpacked we can begin the homestudy and continue on this amazing journey!  We are so grateful to everyone who has helped to make this portion of the journey a reality.

Sold!

Today we officially closed on our new home!!!  Despite a small snafu with our homeowner's insurance yesterday, we managed to get through closing today and the house is officially ours!  After closing, Ben and my dad built the new swing set in the back yard - something that will come in handy tomorrow as the girls and I hang out all day while new carpet is being installed.

We even had our first family meal together at the new house with pizza on the deck.  While the girls were playing on their new swing set our next door neighbors came out to meet and greet us.  We are excited for the move Saturday and for it to start really feeling like home!

Praise God for this step as we continue to look towards adopting!  God is great and He has blessed us beyond measure!

Crunch Time!

We are officially less than a week away from closing on our new home!  I am so excited and equally exhausted as we are preparing for this move.  I will be happy when we are all moved in a (maybe) life will be a little less hectic.  This has definitely been a whirlwind of a summer, but we are so blessed through it all.

June came with horrible news from our renters that they had flooded the entire basement 8 inches deep with sewage (something we are still battling) and learning we might have to walk away from the new house.  However, it also brought fun days home with my sweet girls and ended with continued waiting for a closing date on the new house.

July was definitely busy!  I was teaching Spanish to Spanish speakers Summer school to 5th graders and the girls got to spend 4 days a week with their Grandpa Dave.  It was so wonderful seeing how happy they were to spend that extra time at their grandparents house and I really enjoyed my group of kiddos at summer school.  Midway through July we got the news we'd been waiting for since the end of February - an official closing date on the house!  That news put us in overdrive to begin all the preparations for moving.  Something we knew was coming, but did not feel concrete until the actual closing date was set. 

Since we are renting our current house, our first order of business was to prepare the house for showings to prospective tenants.  I listed the house on Craiglist and within 48 hours we had 8 showings scheduled!  The very last day of July brought us the final showing with our future tenants and the lease was signed two days later.  Whew!  It was definitely a relief to know that was taken care of, and we then put our focus on packing.

With August here, we are packing, packing, packing!  Shannon has K Camp this week at her new school, so I decided to send Amelia to daycare while she is there so I can focus on getting everything sorted into boxes.  We only have a few more days until we head to WI to see my Aunt and Uncle at "Musky Camp" - a trip that was planned well before we had the closing date.  While it feels a little weird to be going out of town right before moving, I think it will be a welcomed break from all the craziness that packing and moving entails.  I am excited to have some relaxed family time :)

Next week we close on the house and move the following Saturday.  Already, next week is filling up with carpet installation, TV installations and minor projects before we have the BIG MOVE.

Life may be a little crazy right now, but I am so blessed by all that God has given our family.  From the opportunity to buy a new home big enough to adopt two or more kiddos to countless small blessings from family and friends.  I don't want to lose focus of how big I'm blessed in all this craziness, nor do I want to miss out on those small mommy moments with the girls.

You can tell the girls are excited and also a bit uncertain about everything.  Shannon has even come to me a few times to say "Mommy, I'm worried about moving" :(  But, when I remind her we will still be together as a family and all the nice things about the new house she gets excited again.  Little Amelia is confused by all the changes, but her smiles and giggles bring us joy even when the stress levels are high.  They have both been amazing through all of this and I love listening to them play together.  I am definitely a blessed momma.

In addition to my two little blessings, I am also so blessed to have Ben through all this.  He has been working tirelessly at work and home to get us through the move, the Sleepy Eye rental horror and everything else.  We just celebrated 8 years of marriage and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for us and our growing family.

God is so good and I definitely want to be sure I take time to praise Him for all He has given us even through all the crazy busy days we've had and have to come.

We have a closing date!!!

Praise God!  We officially have a closing date on the new house!  After waiting 4 1/2 months we can finally breathe a sigh of relief and actually begin packing. :) We plan to close on August 14th and hopefully move into the new house that following weekend.  I am thankful this can happen before I head back to teaching in the fall - it will give us a couple weeks to unpack and settle in.  The sellers have even said we can begin moving items in the garage late July/early August since we have been waiting so long. 

I am most thankful to be taking a step forward towards the adoption.  We plan to settle in a bit (and recover from purchasing a house financially), but then we can start the home study process.  I pray for all my children daily - the ones who are living with me now and the ones we hope to welcome into our family in the future.  I anticipate the day we grow our family through this adoption with hope and dreams.  We will continue to trust in HIS timing.  This has definitely been a year of transitions, but God has been a part of it all.

Summertime!

I love that being a teacher allows me summers off with my kids.  I get time for slower mornings, fun adventures and even the chance to check some things off the "to do" list.  Yesterday we had a wonderful trip to the zoo, just us girls.  We ate lunch while waiting for the Sparky Show, checked out the animals and ended the trip with a nice surprise that it was Free Monday for the carousel - I happened upon it yesterday, but found out it happens every 3rd Monday in June, July and August so we will probably making a return appearance :)  Here are a few pictures of our much welcomed stress-free day:

I am so blessed by these two sweeties and am also continuously amazed by all the new things they are learning.  Shannon spends her days making art projects as gifts for the rest of the family, reading books to ME, and just yesterday I taught her how to tie her shoes.  Today she woke up begging to tie shoes again today and promptly borrowed one of her daddy's shoes, slipped her foot inside and tied the shoe all on her own with no help or reminders from me.  Amelia has decided she is too big for me to dress her anymore and insists on putting all her clothes on herself - including her big girl underwear since she is now potty trained.  She wakes up with a smile and a snuggle almost everyday and loves to copy her big sister.  I love how much they love each other and play so well together (that's not to say they always get along). 

I'm also dreaming about what future summers will be like as our family grows and the adventures they will have together :)

A change of events

After the news Monday about the bank wanting more for the Chaparral house in Apple Valley than we originally wanted to pay we spent the next few days looking at several other houses on the market.  None of them felt like "home" and the next best option was one that would take a significant amount of elbow grease and money.  We came home a bit discouraged, and decided to ask our mortgage lender to run the numbers on the new bank offer for the Chaparral house.  Turns out with interest rates as low as they are now, it really wasn't a huge increase from the monthly amount we had planned for. 

We still weren't 100% sure if we wanted to go back to it with the increased price so Ben and I dressed the girls in their jammies after dinner, hopped in the car and drove by about 5 or 6 houses that were "possibilities" ending at the Chaparral house - many of which we had already been inside earlier with our realtor.  We prayed for God to give us direction and peace about which house should be home, or possibly to wait for one we hadn't seen yet.  Some houses we were able to rule out immediately without getting out of the car, others we walked around the property.  When we finished at the Chaparral house, we each took turns walking around it.  As we drove away we asked how we each felt.  Ben went first and said exactly how I was feeling as well: "That is home, and it gave me a great sense of peace when we pulled up to it."

While it isn't the price we planned on, it is within our budget.  I can't help but think back to the Sunday we announced in church the sellers had accepted our offer and a woman in front of us (who we'd never talked to before that Sunday) found us after church.  She gave us the bag of coins and said she felt like God wanted her to give them to us to remind us that saving for the adoption process, including purchasing a new home, won't be easy but God will always provide.

This decision just feels right and both Ben and I are at peace with God's timing and plan.  Currently we are looking at a possible closing date in August and then we can move forward with the home study process to bring our future children home someday.  I look forward to seeing how the rest of this adventure unfolds :)

And the search continues...

So, things have not exactly gone according to our plans recently.  We found out two days ago we are not getting the Chaparral house in Apple Valley - the bank for the short sale came back and wants 32K more than the listing price, even though we already offered 15K above asking price.  It was difficult news to hear, especially after 4 months of waiting and dreaming up decorating ideas, but we are reminding ourselves that must not be the house God wants us to be in. 

In addition to the news about losing the house we wanted, we've also been dealing with major issues in our rental property in Sleepy Eye involving completely gutting the basement from 8 inches of sewage backup.  Long story short, it has been a stressful last 2 weeks and we are ready for some good news.  I am trying my best to trust in God's plan and timing and remember He sees the bigger picture. 

My "silver lining" has been my summer days home with my sweet girls.  Whenever I've been close to tears Shannon or Amelia, or both, have somehow managed to do something that makes me smile.  They are definitely two amazing blessings in my life, as well as my handy hubby who is plugging away at all the repairs for the Sleepy Eye house.

I could, and honestly have been tempted to, sit and wallow in our bad news streak.  My heart aches for our future children and I am eager to officially start the adoption process so we can bring them home.  This past couple of weeks feels like we are moving backwards.  Fortunately, though, there are also so many wonderful things surrounding my life and I am choosing to focus on the countless blessings God has given this family and cast my cares upon Him.

So for now, we continue the hunt for the right house and wait to see what adventures God has in store for us as we look to grow our family.  We are praying for wisdom and guidance in this process and for protection and care for whoever it is that our future children will be.

Shannon is turning FIVE!

With all the dreaming about our future children, I am also loving my life with Shannon and Amelia and this weekend is all about Miss Nannon Bug (aka Shannon) who is turning five on Monday.   It feels like just yesterday I was at Abbott Hospital on bedrest before she entered this world when I was 35 weeks pregnant.  I cannot believe the amazingly curious, faithful, beautiful, loving, and precocious girl she has become.  She is a GREAT big sister and I am so proud to be her Momma.  Her excitement and curiousity about the idea of adopting more siblings has been one of many confirmations I've had about adopting.  I love watching her grow in her child-like faith and look forward to witnessing her grow up into confident young woman someday.  For now though, I'm celebrating these five years of her life and am blessed to have her in our lives.  Happy Birthday to my sweet Shannon!!!

Finally, an answer

Well, after applying in January for Shannon to attend Adams Spanish Immersion this fall we finally have an answer to one of our unknowns. Today, on 5 de mayo, we got the official letter telling us she got in! It feels great to have an answer to SOMETHING. Now we will continue to wait to hear about the house and my job schedule next year. I am so excited she got in and am hopeful it will give her a jump start on her Spanish before we go live in the DR for up to 8+ months. Honestly, I've wanted to send her there before we started thinking about adopting from the DR, but I figure it can't hurt for her to be comfortable with the Spanish language before we move down there temporarily either. :) We will continue to pray for the house and my job. The biggest one being the house. I know I have a job next year, I just don't know what my schedule willl look like yet and full time would help to save for the adoption, but I'd miss the extra time I have with the girls. I am thankful God continues to bless our family and we will continue to trust in His timing!

Hurry up and wait

It seems we are in the no man's land of waiting right now.  Waiting to hear from Wells Fargo about the short sale on the house.  Waiting to hear about where Shannon will go to kindergarten (if she gets into Adam's Spanish Immersion or not).  Waiting to hear if I will be full or part-time next school year and if part-time what my schedule will be.  Waiting to move forward with the house so we can move forward with the adoption home study.  Overall, a lot of waiting.

But, waiting can also allow for dreaming.  As we wait I can't help but dream about what it will be like to temporarily move to the Dominican Republic as we adopt two or more additional blessings into our family.  With the spring weather here, I've enjoyed watching the girls play at the park many an afternoon.  As they play and interact I dream of what life will be like when we come home with a larger family.  I love the sisterly bond Shannon and Amelia have and pray that will grow to include their future siblings as well.

More than dreaming, waiting allows for trusting - putting my trust in God that HE has a plan for our family and HIS plan is far greater than any plan I could dream up on my own.

What a week

This has certainly been quite the week, but through it all God is good.  We've had quite a few "bumps in the road" this week, but tonight I am thankful for my family and how blessed we are.

Ben has been doing a TON of side work on cars as a means to save for international adoption.  However, apparently at least one of our neighbors is not too thrilled about this idea.  Late last week we were notified by the city we were in violation of code for having a disabled vehicle in plain sight (ie: not hidden in our garage, but instead in our driveway).  A few days later we received another letter stating one of our neighbors suspects we are running a repair shop.  Ben has been working tirelessly on the repairs, but unfortunately is just has not been going so smooth with lots of unforseen complications.  He has been out in that driveway working what feels like non-stop to finish the repairs and meet code with the city.  The girls and I miss him.  I am, however, so thankful for what a dedicated husband he is and the blessing he is to our family.

Another "bump in the road" we are praying for has to do with our renter situation which has gotten complicated.  While I do not know what the outcome will be with this situation, I am choosing to cast my cares on God and know that HE sees the big picture and has great plans for our family.

On the upside, we had the inspection on the new house on Thursday.  Overall, the inspection went very well and we removed our inspection contigency so we are now officially just waiting to hear if the bank accepts the offer.  During the inspection, we also got to show the girls the inside of the house for the first time.

While stress has been high this week, we're still on this adventure as a family together.  Shannon has been having some great questions and conversations about adopting and has enjoyed feeling "grown up" by going out and watching her dad work on cars and spending time with him.  Amelia has been an amazing blessing to me this week in particular with her overall joy.  She will often randomly break out into laughter and, no matter what else is going on, it is impossible not to smile along with her. 

We are continuing on this Reilly adventure and our family will praise God in the good times and in the rough times as well.

Learning Patience

So last Saturday, the sellers on the new house verbally accepted the offer and said they would sign it Monday.  Monday morning came and we were then told there were 3 offers being considered and we had until noon Tuesday to change our offer or keep it "as is".

We decided to keep it as we originally offered and endure the wait, praying God would hold it for us if it was our house.  All day Tuesday we were anxiously waiting an answer, but were at peace with whatever the decision would be.  After quite a bit of back-and-forth phone calls between our realtor and theirs we learned there were now a total of 5 offers and ours was in the top two.

We talked with our realtor at 6:30pm and decided to up our offer by roughly $4,000 to match the other offer.  At 9:00 we received a call saying they had once again accepted our offer and were in the process of signing our offer.  It was hard to wait it out, but perhaps God is teaching us patience for the road ahead as we await a placement for adoption.

We are praising God for a house we LOVE and is more than we could have asked for.  We look forward to filling it with our growing family!

Here we go...

So I've thought for a while I should start a blog to document all the many things that are happening in our family.  Maybe I should have started a while ago, but currently our little family is preparing for some amazing changes and I don't want to forget the details as we begin our adoption adventure.

Ben and I have always known we wanted to adopt.  We've talked about wanting to since before we were even married.  Our shared experience of growing up in families with adopted siblings is perhaps one of the things that brought us together.  For the longest time this was all we knew:  We want to adopt, but we don't know from where or when.

While the "when" is still somewhat uncertain the where has definitely been put on our hearts.  It was New Year's Eve 2011 and Ben and I were debating whether or not we were going to stay up until midnight.  (You know you're a parent when sleep becomes more important than staying up to watch the ball drop)  Somewhere in the discussion Ben brought up to adoption topic.

Little did Ben know I had been praying (and praying hard) for a few months by then that God would reveal to Ben when we should begin our adoption adventure and where we should adopt from.  He may not have known my prayers, but God definitely answered them.  Ben told me the Dominican Republic was put on his heart and from here we began to research how to adopt from the D.R.

A lot more conversations were sparked from our New Year's Eve discussion and we quickly learned adoptions from the Dominican Republic are rare in the U.S., in fact there were only 5 in 2011.  We also quickly learned why.  The Dominican Republic requires you to stay in the D.R. until the adoption is finalized, which can be up to 8 months.  Both parents must be there for the first 60 days and one must stay the entire time and the second parent must return for the final court date.

We continued to pray that God open doors for us and affirm our desire to adopt a sibling group from the Dominican Republic.  While we still don't exactly know the when, we are anticipating this to be a 2-4 year journey until we can add to our (current) family of four.  We know it's not going to be easy, but we have already seen so many blessings and affirmations.

Here are just a few:

A few days into January, without having brought up the topic of adopting to Shannon, she asked me on the way to preschool if our family was ever going to adopt.  I asked her how she felt about that idea and she responded "I think it is what our family needs to do," and "I would really like a brother and maybe another sister."

While brainstorming ideas to come up with the money necessary for international adoption we thought maybe Ben could use his automotive background to do some side work.  The following Sunday in our small group at church a sidework opportunity practically fell into our laps and since then Ben has done 3 major car repairs in a little over a month.

We quickly realized our current 3 bedroom house would probably be a bit too cozy for a family of 6 and began praying for a way to move into a larger house.  We found a house above and beyond what we could have asked for in our price range this past Friday and the sellers accepted our offer yesterday (Saturday).  Now we are continuing to pray the bank also approves the offer (it is a short sale) and we are able to find reliable renters for our current house.

We've shared our desire to adopt with many people at our church and today the praise for finding the house.  After service the mom sitting in front of us shared her story of adopting a sibling group from Guatemala and offered lots of encouragement. 

Another mom from our church shared with us a small pouch of coins her daughter gave her for her birthday.  She told us it has sat on her dresser since her birthday, but this morning she felt like God wanted her to bring it with her to church.  After she tried to drop it into the offering box and couldn't because the slot wasn't big enough for the pouch, she hung on to it during service.  She shared with us that while we were sharing our story of our desire to adopt and finding the house, God told her to give us the pouch of coins as a reminder to us that God will provide for us as we prepare to adopt.

It's only been a little less than two months since that unforgettable New Year's Eve and yet we have  been able to witness so many affirmations.  We are so thankful for all of these and can't wait to see what else is in store for our family.