Yep, those words were screamed at me at the top of her lungs right outside her school this Friday afternoon... surrounded by other parents picking up their kids... standing next to her carpool buddy... yep, those words.
Let me rewind. I left work at 3:30 today ending a long week at work, eager to start a three day weekend. I'd been playing catch-up from missing 5 days from taking care of a sick little Missy Moo for 8 days of feverish influenza. On top of that, I'd spent this week checking in with my co-Spanish teacher's subs as he had been out all week, also with the flu. My desk is a mess and my work to-do list is growing, but it was FRIDAY.
I left work, knowing my hubby would be MIA at home to head down to Sleepy Eye to check on the rental house and continue repairs while I would be home with the girls. Nearly two months of this Friday evening routine and I am definitely longing for a Friday night with all of us home. But, I had decided to make the best of the solo-parent night and was planning a popcorn and movie night with my little lovies. I had even let the girlies in on my plans and we all left the house this morning excited to snuggle up on the couch together this evening, fresh-popped corn in our bowl and new animated movie on the TV.
These plans were running through my head all day and I coudn't wait to pick each kiddo up from daycare/school and get started on our Mommy-daughters night. I drive up to daycare first, looking forward to my joyous Amelia's smile. Instead I walk in the door to find her on modified time-out (reading books on the couch rather than free play) because she had chosen to have playtime during what should have been naptime - something that has been occurring more often than not these days.
She hopped down from the couch, walked over to me and promptly annouces "Mommy, I not take a good nap today." This kid is cute even when she is naughty and I'm pretty sure she knows it and uses it to her advantage. Trying my best not to give into her infectious smile this time, I responded by telling her "Well, I guess that means you'll have to go to bed early instead of getting to stay up watching a movie." Suddenly her smile is gone and I feel horrible, but I must stay firm.
Darn it! I really wanted my two-year-old power snuggler on my lap tonight. Oh well, at least I can still watch the movie with Shannon, and off to her school we go to pick her up and her carpool buddy.
I walk into the cafeteria to sign Shannon and her buddy out and I can instantly tell something is off with her. "How was your field trip to the Science Museum?" I ask them both. Carpool buddy: "Cool!", Shannon: "Bad." "Bad?" I ask. "Yeah, too much climbing stairs," she responds. I little confused, I decide I will talk with her more about it when we get home, but first I must load all three kiddos into the van so I can meet up with our carpool family at our usual drop off location on time.
We walk over to the sign-out table, sign out both kindergarteners and head to the door. Shannon tries to hold Amelia's hand and Amelia refuses because she would rather hold carpool buddy's hand who she really only sees once a week since Ben normally picks them up from school - except on Fridays. My mommy spidey sense sees the disappointment on Shannon's face that Amelia doesn't want to hold her big sister's hand, but I can also understand Amelia's excitement to see someone she doesn't get to see everyday.
I try to smooth things over by suggesting to Amelia she holds both their hands, but I am too late. Shannon has already begun the ever-dreaded public screaming tantrum - this time at school. I remind her this is not how we get what we want and proceed to walk all the kidlets out of the school to the car, Shannon still screaming and yelling, but at least she is staying with us. I decide to ignore it, despite the countless looks we were getting from fellow parents.
We arrive to the van and I ask Shannon to sit in the back so carpool buddy is next to the door when we drop him off and he won't have to climb past anyone else. That's when it happens. Those blood curdling screams and the words "Bad Mommy! You're so mean!" accompanied by a swift punch to my already aching arm from my RA. Man, now they've BOTH lost our snuggle on the couch movie night.
The drive home was cold, even though the heater in our van works a little too well. Shannon's stares were aimed right at my seat the whole way to carpool drop-off. At the drop-off location, she moves up to her normal seat - recently vacated by carpool buddy. I make sure she is buckled up and safe and then head home. I've already decided both my girls need and deserve a one-on-one, face-to-face converstation with me about their choices and I wasn't going to discuss it while driving and them to my back.
The silence is killing me, as is the loss of a fun night with my girls - probably me more than them. When we finally did pull up to our garage, I look back to see Shannon completely passed out. My daughter is an amazingly sweet kid, but lack of sleep can change her like nothing else. Sort of a Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde kind of a change. And, we had just completed two late-ish nights in a row on school nights.
We stumble into the house, weighed down with our winter gear, backpacks, lunch bags and the like, AND our movie night no longer in play. I try to justify in my head a way we can still make it happen, but then I remind myself I must be firm. Oh, but I really wanted to do the movie night tonight and I really do NOT want to have the mommy-talk with them about their behavior. Still, I must follow through.
Each one has their "mommy-talk" and it goes surprisingly well. Amelia has told me multiple times since our chat she will "take a nice nap next week, willy (really) I will". Granted, time will tell if she will actually follow through, but she seems eager to do so for the moment. Shannon gave me a sincere apology and she was able to articulate her feelings in a manner more mature than her years.
After our chats I ask them if they can play nicely while I cook dinner and they actually did! We eat dinner and, what usually is a marathon battle to get Amelia to eat her food, it all gets consumed quite quickly and Shannon declares it was her best dinner she's ever eaten and her new favorite meal.
Dinner was followed by baths full of giggles and grins and we ended the night with books and songs and snuggles and both girls were tucked into bed 45 minutes to an hour early, but with smiles on their faces and knowing they are loved.
So, tonight did not go as hoped and planned. But, by the grace of God, it still managed to end on a good note and I was still able to have a fun mommy-daughters night (albeit modified) and I am looking forward to the three-day weekend ahead.
