Lord, thank you for your undeniable presence in this adoption journey...
This blog serves a couple of purposes. One of which is to update friends and family on our adoption journey, but on a more personal note it also serves as a place where I can recount the ins and outs, ups and downs of our journey to look back on someday as part of the story of how two or more of my children join our family.
This past summer has been a true test of patience and trust as what has seemed like unending "limbo" mode has stalled the finalization of our home study. It has been nearly two months since my last post and closer to 5 months since our last home study visit. In that time countless people have asked how our adoption process is going and my heart aches every time because I know we are not where I would have planned we would be on our journey. Yes, there have been hoops we have jumped through and things checked off the list, but 5 months from that last visit we still have yet to receive an official completed home study. We are 16 months into the process since we officially applied to adopt and the finalized home study still feels just out of the reach of our fingertips.
And yet, God has been there in my moments of despair and has shown up in the most unexpected ways. He has been the source of my calm. I have no doubt Ben and I could not be on this adoption journey without our faith and trust in Him.
Since the last post near the end of June, we have received the draft of our study for our review, but we still wait on the official finalization. Currently we are waiting on our updated background checks to come back and after that, we are told, our study will be officially finalized and that step of the journey will be done.
One would think we might be used to so much waiting, but it never gets easier. The only comfort is trusting in His timing and His plan. Without that I have no doubt I would have gone insane by now. It is hard, indescribably hard, when in your heart you know you have children who are not yet home. Children who I have yet to meet and I still love with all my heart just as I love the two girls I have the privilege of mommy-ing every day - from good morning hugs to goodnight kisses and every moment in between. I pray for them - all my children - every day. Pray they know they are loved, pray God uses them for His glory, pray for their safety and health. I pray.
After a summer of little progress and continued wait, we've prayerfully decided to make a change in adoption agencies. Our current agency will still be used to finalize the home study, and will likely be used for post-placement services as well. However, with the loss of several staff members and merging with another agency coupled with the fact that no agency in Minnesota has a program for adoptions from the Dominican Republic, we will be (hopefully) finishing the journey to bring our kiddos home with a 2nd agency out of Alabama. To the best of our knowledge, Lifeline Christian Services has been a part of most (if not all) adoptions to the U.S. from the Dominican Republic.
We've known about Lifeline since the beginning of our adoption journey, before we even applied to our local agency for the home study. Involving Lifeline has been a possibility since the beginning, but we knew at a minimum we needed an Minnesota agency to complete our home study and we had hoped to only need one agency in this journey.
God has been with us in every step of the process, and He has revealed His presence at times when I've needed the encouragement most. After a summer of a series of delays for a variety of reasons, earlier this week I began to allow the worry and frustration to get the best of me. As a teacher, the end of summer means gearing up for a new school year and I was really hoping to have the loose ends for finalizing the home study taken care of before returning to school. I had sent several emails to our MN agency and we still seemed to be stuck in "limbo land".
Yesterday, my worry and frustrations were peaking and I felt like I was running in circles. Nerves were high and I began to pray. Lord, YOU know the plans you have for me and my family - help me to have peace in this waiting. I prayed. I cried. I prayed some more. Then, I checked the mail. In the mail was a letter informing us our current agency would be merging with another MN agency. This news hit me like a punch in the gut. My gut reaction was "more waiting". I let Ben know the news and prayed some more.
Prayers led to a need to call my mom. I wasn't expecting her to have any answers or fixes, but I knew she could listen with a social worker perspective to what we were dealing with. Thanks mom, for being a listening ear and great encouragement.
By the time I hung up with my mom, I had also gotten a text from Ben giving me the go ahead to contact Lifeline. We were both in agreement it was time to involve an agency who knows the ins and outs of the process of adopting from the Dominican Republic. While we appreciate the help our social worker (who is now retired) gave us during our home study, we felt like God was giving us a very clear message to make a change. It was time to call Lifeline.
The phone rang and eventually went to voice mail, so I decided to send an email rather than a long message over the phone. I clicked "send" and within seconds got an automatic reply that they Lifeline contact was out of the country on a work related trip. OK, God. We will continue to wait.
Yesterday evening, as Ben and I were sharing in each other's frustrations and worries in the wait, we heard the ping of an email notification. Turns out, it was Lifeline responding to our email from abroad. They are excited to work with us and asked us to apply even before the home study is finalized so they can help to review it and make sure elements specific to the Dominican Republic are included. Suddenly all the wait of this summer became clearer. Not having a finalized home study is turning out to be a GOOD thing. God - thank you for opening my eyes to this.
So, after a summer of waiting, this evening we've submitted our application with Lifeline. Yes, now we wait again. However, now we wait with encouragement and anticipation.
Lord, thank you for your undeniable presence in this adoption journey...
