Pre-Adoption Training

This weekend Ben and I completed a two-day pre-adoption training.  We went into the training excited, but not really sure what it would entail.  We were excited to be moving forward (and even to spend two full days together), but it was also our first formal adoption training and even our first time seeing our agency and the staff in person.

The training was jam-packed with tons of important information and got pretty heavy at times, but was good to be able to process through the information with others also going through their own adoption adventures.  One of my favorite things was being able to meet and connect with people also adopting and hear their stories of why they are adopting and what kind of adoption adventure they were on.

I can honestly say I am mentally exhausted and yet equally regenerated.  There were some points in the training that brought real tears and stories and issues that are incredibly difficult to imagine or comprehend a child going through - even topics I was already familiar with.  But, in the same moment it made my heart for adoption that much stronger and my yearning to bring my kiddos home even more urgent.

Perhaps one of the topics that really hit home was the idea of promoting attachment as your first priority and just with your nuclear family initially.  They walked us through an exercise comparing a "normal" 24 month old to and 24 month old from an orphanage and their different ages for various aspects of the child.  For example, while both children are chronologically the same age, emotionally the child raised in an orphanage may be closer to 0-3 months.  That child never had a primary care giver devoted to them.  Never learned that when they cry, their needs are met.  Never had a mom to rock them.  Even as I write this, I can't help but tear up a little.  And, while I knew these facts, seeing the comparative ages really solidified it for me.

It was reaffirming for me when Ben and I were able to talk through things and have very similar reactions and thoughts on different elements in the training.  I am so blessed to be on this adventure with my husband and am grateful for the support system we have with our extended families, church family and friends.  It is comforting to know I am surrounded by people who have gone through adoptions and will be supported in the process.

While it is heartbreaking to hear the many issues some kids have when they come into an adoptive family, I cannot wait to be able to start the bonding and healing process and grow our family (not just in number).

Mother's Day

With Mother's Day coming tomorrow my mind has been on the joy my two sweet girls bring me and my life as a mother.  My heart also wonders, prays, yearns for the day we can grow our family through this adoption.

I went to the Mother's Day brunch at our church today and got to enjoy some fellowship with many amazing mothers - including my own personal favorite, my momma.  I am so thankful God has blessed me with my mom.  She is a huge part to my path to adoption.  She taught me what it means to be a good mom and I wouldn't be who I am today without her influence on my life.

I love how I can talk to my mom about my heart for adoption and she truly gets it.  All three of my siblings are adopted and all four of us kids have an interesting story to how we came to be a part of our family.  I can remember when I was growing up and sometimes friends would ask me questions like "So what's it like being biologically an only child?" and I felt dumb-founded by the question.  Not one moment in my life have I been an only child.  My parents had already adopted my older brother and sister in Mississippi before I was born and later went on to adopt my youngest brother from Korea.  I learned, in time, to respond with the question "What's it like not to have adopted siblings?" and it would get whoever asked the previous question thinking.

I've always known not everyone understands the call to adoption, but it has become even more clear as Ben and I have begun our own adoption adventure.  Many people have asked why we would choose to adopt - especially from a country that requires us to live there for 6+ months before we can bring our kiddos home.  Our response is: "That's where our kids are and we need to bring them home." 

God has called us to grow our family through adoption and I am privileged to be a part of this calling.  My own relationship with Him has grown tremendously through our experience so far and it has opened the door to some pretty cool ways to be a witness for Him.  It is interesting to see the reactions of people when we simply say God has called us to bring our kids home and then be able to share our faith with this conversation.

At the top of this blog, we've added the verse from John 14:18 "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."  To my own kiddos who I am not able to hug and enjoy mothering this Mother's Day: I cannot wait for the day I can come to you and be your mom.