Today we had our second of three home study meetings with our social worker. This meeting: going over the autobiography questionnaire we had filled out. It was a chance to share about our lives, how we were raised, our views on parenting, etc. I am excited to be one step closer in our adoption adventure and am thankful for having a good relationship with our social worker.
With Thanksgiving fast approaching, I thought I'd take the time to list a few more things I am thankful for in this adoption adventure.
1. First and foremost, I am thankful for God's presence every step of the way. From God putting adoption on our hearts, to providing for our financial needs, and everything in between, God has had a very real presence and provided us with a sense of peace.
2. I am also thankful for the gift of fellowship with our church small group specifically for adoptive or adopting families. It is a great way to be able to share in the highs and lows of the adoption adventure with people who really understand all things adoption.
3. I am delighted and thankful for the sweet and curious hearts of our two girls already in our home. Shannon and Amelia talk about the adoption daily and I love hearing them talk/ask questions about their future siblings.
4. And finally, I am thankful to be on this adoption adventure with my best friend and father of my children (current and future). I could not imagine tackling this adventure on my own.
Hoping, Praying, Waiting for you
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Blessed Beyond Measure
Two and a half weeks ago we were at 45% of our $30,000 goal to cover the fees portion of our adoption expenses. Today, I am overjoyed to say we are beyond 100% funded!!! This truly can only be explained as a God thing.
In my last post, I was secretly hoping and praying we would reach our goal of $30,000 by the end of 2013. I am truly in awe of the way God has met us throughout this adoption adventure.
After wrapping up 3 days of a massive garage sale I can honestly say I am completely and utterly exhausted BUT am grateful for the experience as well. This garage sale allowed Ben and me the opportunity to get to know our neighborhood, minister to others and spend three solid days together. Having never done a garage sale before in my life I really did not know what I was getting into, but there are so many stories to tell now.
We spent months collecting and organizing donations for the garage sale. Our house was filled to the brim and so much of it sold in the past three days. God took other people's extra clutter and turned it into ways to not only bless us, but bless many of our customers as well. With what remains we are hoping to keep much of the kid items to give to the orphanage we adopt from and give the remaining items to a local charity.
Despite the monetary blessing, there were so many other awesome experiences in it as well. Having only moved into our neighborhood less than a year ago this sale allowed us to get to know many of our neighbors, hear their stories and share ours as well. We had many people ask the who, what, where, and why of our adoption story and we used that as a way to be witnesses and minister to those who stopped by our sale.
Some of the people we met specifically came to our sale because they knew it was an adoption fundraiser. Many of these people either were also adopting, had been adopted, had adopted family members, or were involved in adoption some way or another. It is amazing what a community the adoption community is :)
We also had many complete strangers stop by and give us a financial gift without buying anything at all. Even more people we had never met before told us they were praying for us and wished us well in our journey. God is truly in control of all of this.
Another unexpected element of the garage sale was how helpful it was that I speak Spanish. Early in our first day I began speaking with some families in Spanish and they were pretty surprised by that, but really opened up to me and we had some great conversations. By the afternoon of the first day we started getting people who would walk up to me and ask "¿Habla español?" (Do you speak Spanish?) as if the word had gotten out that I speak Spanish. It was fun for me to use my Spanish and be able to have genuine conversations with many of these families. I even had one family who asked for the number to Shannon's Spanish Immersion school because they also wanted their son to solidify his Spanish.
Overall, our interactions with people who stopped by the sale was positive. The only truly negative interaction we had was with a man who was not happy we were adopting internationally, but I let him know I thought all kinds of adoption were important and God calls different people to each kind of adoption.
I was also somewhat surprised by the amount of people who could not quite understand we weren't planning on adopting babies, and even some who assumed we were adopting animals. We had many people ask us why we would sell so many baby items if we were adopting, and then we explained our kiddos would probably not be babies. I learned to respond with "We've been blessed with the baby experience twice, now it is time to give kids who are a little older a chance to stay together as a sibling group." and "God has told us where our kids are and we know He will make a way to bring them home."
In addition to the garage sale fundraiser we've also been blessed by several large monetary gifts from friends and family allowing us to surpass our adoption fees goal and begin to save towards our living expenses while we go down to the Dominican Republic.
So, tonight I am thanking God for everyone He allowed to be a part of this. Everyone who gave (money, donations, supplies, time), everyone who prayed, everyone who shopped, everyone who spread the word, everyone who helped with the girls - God allowed each and everyone of you to bless us and we are awestruck by it all.
We are truly blessed beyond measure.
"Every good and perfect gift comes from above" James 1:17a
In my last post, I was secretly hoping and praying we would reach our goal of $30,000 by the end of 2013. I am truly in awe of the way God has met us throughout this adoption adventure.
After wrapping up 3 days of a massive garage sale I can honestly say I am completely and utterly exhausted BUT am grateful for the experience as well. This garage sale allowed Ben and me the opportunity to get to know our neighborhood, minister to others and spend three solid days together. Having never done a garage sale before in my life I really did not know what I was getting into, but there are so many stories to tell now.
We spent months collecting and organizing donations for the garage sale. Our house was filled to the brim and so much of it sold in the past three days. God took other people's extra clutter and turned it into ways to not only bless us, but bless many of our customers as well. With what remains we are hoping to keep much of the kid items to give to the orphanage we adopt from and give the remaining items to a local charity.
Despite the monetary blessing, there were so many other awesome experiences in it as well. Having only moved into our neighborhood less than a year ago this sale allowed us to get to know many of our neighbors, hear their stories and share ours as well. We had many people ask the who, what, where, and why of our adoption story and we used that as a way to be witnesses and minister to those who stopped by our sale.
Some of the people we met specifically came to our sale because they knew it was an adoption fundraiser. Many of these people either were also adopting, had been adopted, had adopted family members, or were involved in adoption some way or another. It is amazing what a community the adoption community is :)
We also had many complete strangers stop by and give us a financial gift without buying anything at all. Even more people we had never met before told us they were praying for us and wished us well in our journey. God is truly in control of all of this.
Another unexpected element of the garage sale was how helpful it was that I speak Spanish. Early in our first day I began speaking with some families in Spanish and they were pretty surprised by that, but really opened up to me and we had some great conversations. By the afternoon of the first day we started getting people who would walk up to me and ask "¿Habla español?" (Do you speak Spanish?) as if the word had gotten out that I speak Spanish. It was fun for me to use my Spanish and be able to have genuine conversations with many of these families. I even had one family who asked for the number to Shannon's Spanish Immersion school because they also wanted their son to solidify his Spanish.
Overall, our interactions with people who stopped by the sale was positive. The only truly negative interaction we had was with a man who was not happy we were adopting internationally, but I let him know I thought all kinds of adoption were important and God calls different people to each kind of adoption.
I was also somewhat surprised by the amount of people who could not quite understand we weren't planning on adopting babies, and even some who assumed we were adopting animals. We had many people ask us why we would sell so many baby items if we were adopting, and then we explained our kiddos would probably not be babies. I learned to respond with "We've been blessed with the baby experience twice, now it is time to give kids who are a little older a chance to stay together as a sibling group." and "God has told us where our kids are and we know He will make a way to bring them home."
In addition to the garage sale fundraiser we've also been blessed by several large monetary gifts from friends and family allowing us to surpass our adoption fees goal and begin to save towards our living expenses while we go down to the Dominican Republic.
So, tonight I am thanking God for everyone He allowed to be a part of this. Everyone who gave (money, donations, supplies, time), everyone who prayed, everyone who shopped, everyone who spread the word, everyone who helped with the girls - God allowed each and everyone of you to bless us and we are awestruck by it all.
We are truly blessed beyond measure.
"Every good and perfect gift comes from above" James 1:17a
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Preparing
July has been the month of preparations. From training, to our first home study meeting, to final touches in preparation for our fundraiser garage sale - much of our time an energy has been adoption focused. I am thrilled to be making progress towards bringing our kiddos home and cannot wait for the day I get to hold them in my arms and introduce them to our girls.
We've had lots of adoption related conversations at home and I love hearing my girls' curiosity and excitement about the idea of new brothers or sisters. We've even been blessed with many adoption related conversations outside of the home - particularly from those who know about our upcoming garage sale.
Some of the re-occurring themes from friends, family and even strangers have been why and how much. One of the unexpected blessings in this adoption adventure is how it has allowed me to talk openly about my faith. So often we are asked why we would choose to adopt from the DR and that allows me to answer with "that is where God has told us our kids are." Let's just say this makes room for some great conversations. But, in all reality, this is why we are adopting from the DR. I firmly believe God will help us every step of the way and He will provide the resources (monetary, emotional, time, wisdom, peace, etc.)
In regards to the "How much?" part of this adventure it is hard to put a firm number on it all... There are lots of minor incidentals (fingerprints, background checks, postage, etc) and we can't fully estimate the cost of living in the DR since we are not sure just how long we will be there (at least 60 days for all of us, closer to 6-9 months for me until everything is finalized). HOWEVER, I do know the cost of the actual adoption, both U.S. end and DR end. Our agency here in the U.S. will cost around $10,500 and the law firm in the DR has a set fee of $6,500 per child ($13,000 if we adopt two children, $19,500 if we adopt 3). So... that puts us at a total of $30,000 for agency/law firm expenses if we adopt three children into our family. (The planner in me would rather have the amount for 3 children even if we only end up adopting 2 kiddos and any extra money can be put towards our living expenses while we are there/loss of our salaries.)
With the garage sale coming up in just over two weeks I have been praying over it quite a bit, advertising for it (http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/dak/gms/3940280926.html) and wondering what the outcome will be. I honestly do not have an expected amount we will raise. I am praying that God will use the overwhelming blessing of the amount of items that have been donated for our sale and bring the right customers our way. I am trusting in His provision and continue to be amazed by his presence in this whole adoption adventure so far.
While I do not know how much the sale will bring our way, I do now have a total goal ($30,000) for the adoption expenses and the amount we have so far ($13,500). I was blown away when I realized we have already met 45% of our goal!!! Praise the LORD!
We've had lots of adoption related conversations at home and I love hearing my girls' curiosity and excitement about the idea of new brothers or sisters. We've even been blessed with many adoption related conversations outside of the home - particularly from those who know about our upcoming garage sale.
Some of the re-occurring themes from friends, family and even strangers have been why and how much. One of the unexpected blessings in this adoption adventure is how it has allowed me to talk openly about my faith. So often we are asked why we would choose to adopt from the DR and that allows me to answer with "that is where God has told us our kids are." Let's just say this makes room for some great conversations. But, in all reality, this is why we are adopting from the DR. I firmly believe God will help us every step of the way and He will provide the resources (monetary, emotional, time, wisdom, peace, etc.)
In regards to the "How much?" part of this adventure it is hard to put a firm number on it all... There are lots of minor incidentals (fingerprints, background checks, postage, etc) and we can't fully estimate the cost of living in the DR since we are not sure just how long we will be there (at least 60 days for all of us, closer to 6-9 months for me until everything is finalized). HOWEVER, I do know the cost of the actual adoption, both U.S. end and DR end. Our agency here in the U.S. will cost around $10,500 and the law firm in the DR has a set fee of $6,500 per child ($13,000 if we adopt two children, $19,500 if we adopt 3). So... that puts us at a total of $30,000 for agency/law firm expenses if we adopt three children into our family. (The planner in me would rather have the amount for 3 children even if we only end up adopting 2 kiddos and any extra money can be put towards our living expenses while we are there/loss of our salaries.)
With the garage sale coming up in just over two weeks I have been praying over it quite a bit, advertising for it (http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/dak/gms/3940280926.html) and wondering what the outcome will be. I honestly do not have an expected amount we will raise. I am praying that God will use the overwhelming blessing of the amount of items that have been donated for our sale and bring the right customers our way. I am trusting in His provision and continue to be amazed by his presence in this whole adoption adventure so far.
Friday, June 14, 2013
The Summer of Adoption Fundraising...
Nearly two months after submitting our adoption application we officially have our first home study meeting on the calendar! I am both excited and a bit nervous to get going on the home study - one more step closer to meeting and bringing our kiddos home!
In addition to beginning the home study, this summer is filling up with fundraising to help cover the costs for the adoption. It is definitely a humbling experience to be a fundraising family. I would love to be able to say we had all the money for the adoption saved up and ready to go. However, we know we cannot cover the expense on our own, but we also know God will provide every penny we need to grow our family. If that means finding creative ways to fund-raise, then so be it.
A few people have asked about the ways we are raising funds for the adoption. Right now we currently have five:
1)Ben is using his mechanical skills to fix cars - from minor repairs to complete engine swaps - he is using the labor cost to add to our adoption fund.
2)I am working with Compass USA as a Youth Program Coordinator working with host families and host students from France and Spain during short-term stays in MN this summer. All the money I am earning with this summer position is going towards our adoption fund. It has been a fun way to meet new people and connect American families with international students. Having been both an exchange student and a host mom myself, it is interesting to be part of the exchange opportunity as a coordinator now.
3)We have an online store through Adoption Bug (there is a link on the right side of the blog). If someone buys a t-shirt through our "store" we get $7-$9 of the purchase to put towards our adoption fund.
4)We have a CoupAide website (also linked on the right side of the blog) where people who donate $20 to CoupAide will receive a $50 e-certificate to restaurants.com. Ten dollars of the $20 donation goes straight into our adoption fund from CoupAide.
5)We are planning a GINORMOUS garage sale in August. We started telling people we are planning on having a garage sale and we would love items they would normally be donating to GoodWill. I knew God would provide the items we would need to have this sale, I did not know He would make people so eager to get rid of their stuff to help us raise funds to bring our kiddos home. My family room and spare bedroom are quickly filling up. I am feeling overwhelmed, but blessed. Slowly, but surely I am going through all of the items and organizing them for the sale planned for this August 1-3. I've uploaded a couple pictures of the current state of our family room to help you understand why I feel like we belong on an episode of Hoarders :) My prayer is that God will provide the customers for the garage sale needed to sell all of it and make it a successful sale.
In addition to beginning the home study, this summer is filling up with fundraising to help cover the costs for the adoption. It is definitely a humbling experience to be a fundraising family. I would love to be able to say we had all the money for the adoption saved up and ready to go. However, we know we cannot cover the expense on our own, but we also know God will provide every penny we need to grow our family. If that means finding creative ways to fund-raise, then so be it.
A few people have asked about the ways we are raising funds for the adoption. Right now we currently have five:
1)Ben is using his mechanical skills to fix cars - from minor repairs to complete engine swaps - he is using the labor cost to add to our adoption fund.
2)I am working with Compass USA as a Youth Program Coordinator working with host families and host students from France and Spain during short-term stays in MN this summer. All the money I am earning with this summer position is going towards our adoption fund. It has been a fun way to meet new people and connect American families with international students. Having been both an exchange student and a host mom myself, it is interesting to be part of the exchange opportunity as a coordinator now.
3)We have an online store through Adoption Bug (there is a link on the right side of the blog). If someone buys a t-shirt through our "store" we get $7-$9 of the purchase to put towards our adoption fund.
4)We have a CoupAide website (also linked on the right side of the blog) where people who donate $20 to CoupAide will receive a $50 e-certificate to restaurants.com. Ten dollars of the $20 donation goes straight into our adoption fund from CoupAide.
5)We are planning a GINORMOUS garage sale in August. We started telling people we are planning on having a garage sale and we would love items they would normally be donating to GoodWill. I knew God would provide the items we would need to have this sale, I did not know He would make people so eager to get rid of their stuff to help us raise funds to bring our kiddos home. My family room and spare bedroom are quickly filling up. I am feeling overwhelmed, but blessed. Slowly, but surely I am going through all of the items and organizing them for the sale planned for this August 1-3. I've uploaded a couple pictures of the current state of our family room to help you understand why I feel like we belong on an episode of Hoarders :) My prayer is that God will provide the customers for the garage sale needed to sell all of it and make it a successful sale.
Above all, I have to stress we are busy, but blessed beyond measure. God has been with us every step of the way and provided us the funds and the resources we need so far and I am confident He will continue to do so.
Beyond the fundraising blessings we've had this summer we are also blessed by having Ben's sister Marianne living with us for the summer while she is in transition from retiring from the Air Force and leaving for the Seychelle's this September. Our girls are thrilled to have her here and so am I. I truly appreciate all the help she is providing, from watching the girls while I am doing home visits for Compass to moving boxes, pianos, TVs into the house for the garage sale. She is a true blessing.
I am also excited to be in contact with two families familiar with adopting from the Dominican Republic. One family adopted about a year and a half ago and the other family is in the DR right now for their cohabitation period with their adoption. It is a blessing to be able to hear from families who are farther along in the process than we are and I value their insight.
Life feels like we are moving in fast forward and I know it will only get busier from here. However, I am grateful to be on this adoption adventure and above all blessed to be mom and wife to the family God has given me. I cannot wait to see what His plan is for my (growing) family :)
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Pre-Adoption Training
This weekend Ben and I completed a two-day pre-adoption training. We went into the training excited, but not really sure what it would entail. We were excited to be moving forward (and even to spend two full days together), but it was also our first formal adoption training and even our first time seeing our agency and the staff in person.
The training was jam-packed with tons of important information and got pretty heavy at times, but was good to be able to process through the information with others also going through their own adoption adventures. One of my favorite things was being able to meet and connect with people also adopting and hear their stories of why they are adopting and what kind of adoption adventure they were on.
I can honestly say I am mentally exhausted and yet equally regenerated. There were some points in the training that brought real tears and stories and issues that are incredibly difficult to imagine or comprehend a child going through - even topics I was already familiar with. But, in the same moment it made my heart for adoption that much stronger and my yearning to bring my kiddos home even more urgent.
Perhaps one of the topics that really hit home was the idea of promoting attachment as your first priority and just with your nuclear family initially. They walked us through an exercise comparing a "normal" 24 month old to and 24 month old from an orphanage and their different ages for various aspects of the child. For example, while both children are chronologically the same age, emotionally the child raised in an orphanage may be closer to 0-3 months. That child never had a primary care giver devoted to them. Never learned that when they cry, their needs are met. Never had a mom to rock them. Even as I write this, I can't help but tear up a little. And, while I knew these facts, seeing the comparative ages really solidified it for me.
It was reaffirming for me when Ben and I were able to talk through things and have very similar reactions and thoughts on different elements in the training. I am so blessed to be on this adventure with my husband and am grateful for the support system we have with our extended families, church family and friends. It is comforting to know I am surrounded by people who have gone through adoptions and will be supported in the process.
While it is heartbreaking to hear the many issues some kids have when they come into an adoptive family, I cannot wait to be able to start the bonding and healing process and grow our family (not just in number).
The training was jam-packed with tons of important information and got pretty heavy at times, but was good to be able to process through the information with others also going through their own adoption adventures. One of my favorite things was being able to meet and connect with people also adopting and hear their stories of why they are adopting and what kind of adoption adventure they were on.
I can honestly say I am mentally exhausted and yet equally regenerated. There were some points in the training that brought real tears and stories and issues that are incredibly difficult to imagine or comprehend a child going through - even topics I was already familiar with. But, in the same moment it made my heart for adoption that much stronger and my yearning to bring my kiddos home even more urgent.
Perhaps one of the topics that really hit home was the idea of promoting attachment as your first priority and just with your nuclear family initially. They walked us through an exercise comparing a "normal" 24 month old to and 24 month old from an orphanage and their different ages for various aspects of the child. For example, while both children are chronologically the same age, emotionally the child raised in an orphanage may be closer to 0-3 months. That child never had a primary care giver devoted to them. Never learned that when they cry, their needs are met. Never had a mom to rock them. Even as I write this, I can't help but tear up a little. And, while I knew these facts, seeing the comparative ages really solidified it for me.
It was reaffirming for me when Ben and I were able to talk through things and have very similar reactions and thoughts on different elements in the training. I am so blessed to be on this adventure with my husband and am grateful for the support system we have with our extended families, church family and friends. It is comforting to know I am surrounded by people who have gone through adoptions and will be supported in the process.
While it is heartbreaking to hear the many issues some kids have when they come into an adoptive family, I cannot wait to be able to start the bonding and healing process and grow our family (not just in number).
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Mother's Day
With Mother's Day coming tomorrow my mind has been on the joy my two sweet girls bring me and my life as a mother. My heart also wonders, prays, yearns for the day we can grow our family through this adoption.
I went to the Mother's Day brunch at our church today and got to enjoy some fellowship with many amazing mothers - including my own personal favorite, my momma. I am so thankful God has blessed me with my mom. She is a huge part to my path to adoption. She taught me what it means to be a good mom and I wouldn't be who I am today without her influence on my life.
I love how I can talk to my mom about my heart for adoption and she truly gets it. All three of my siblings are adopted and all four of us kids have an interesting story to how we came to be a part of our family. I can remember when I was growing up and sometimes friends would ask me questions like "So what's it like being biologically an only child?" and I felt dumb-founded by the question. Not one moment in my life have I been an only child. My parents had already adopted my older brother and sister in Mississippi before I was born and later went on to adopt my youngest brother from Korea. I learned, in time, to respond with the question "What's it like not to have adopted siblings?" and it would get whoever asked the previous question thinking.
I've always known not everyone understands the call to adoption, but it has become even more clear as Ben and I have begun our own adoption adventure. Many people have asked why we would choose to adopt - especially from a country that requires us to live there for 6+ months before we can bring our kiddos home. Our response is: "That's where our kids are and we need to bring them home."
God has called us to grow our family through adoption and I am privileged to be a part of this calling. My own relationship with Him has grown tremendously through our experience so far and it has opened the door to some pretty cool ways to be a witness for Him. It is interesting to see the reactions of people when we simply say God has called us to bring our kids home and then be able to share our faith with this conversation.
At the top of this blog, we've added the verse from John 14:18 "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." To my own kiddos who I am not able to hug and enjoy mothering this Mother's Day: I cannot wait for the day I can come to you and be your mom.
I went to the Mother's Day brunch at our church today and got to enjoy some fellowship with many amazing mothers - including my own personal favorite, my momma. I am so thankful God has blessed me with my mom. She is a huge part to my path to adoption. She taught me what it means to be a good mom and I wouldn't be who I am today without her influence on my life.
I love how I can talk to my mom about my heart for adoption and she truly gets it. All three of my siblings are adopted and all four of us kids have an interesting story to how we came to be a part of our family. I can remember when I was growing up and sometimes friends would ask me questions like "So what's it like being biologically an only child?" and I felt dumb-founded by the question. Not one moment in my life have I been an only child. My parents had already adopted my older brother and sister in Mississippi before I was born and later went on to adopt my youngest brother from Korea. I learned, in time, to respond with the question "What's it like not to have adopted siblings?" and it would get whoever asked the previous question thinking.
I've always known not everyone understands the call to adoption, but it has become even more clear as Ben and I have begun our own adoption adventure. Many people have asked why we would choose to adopt - especially from a country that requires us to live there for 6+ months before we can bring our kiddos home. Our response is: "That's where our kids are and we need to bring them home."
God has called us to grow our family through adoption and I am privileged to be a part of this calling. My own relationship with Him has grown tremendously through our experience so far and it has opened the door to some pretty cool ways to be a witness for Him. It is interesting to see the reactions of people when we simply say God has called us to bring our kids home and then be able to share our faith with this conversation.
At the top of this blog, we've added the verse from John 14:18 "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." To my own kiddos who I am not able to hug and enjoy mothering this Mother's Day: I cannot wait for the day I can come to you and be your mom.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Making progress
It is so exciting to be at a stage where we seem to be making new progress towards the adoption often!
A week ago, as I was coming home from a weekend training for work, I stopped at the mailbox to find our adoption agency had approved our initial application and a packet full of forms to begin the home study process. It is both thrilling and overwhelming as we work through the countless pages, but I am grateful to be making progress.
Monday, I found a website that allows families who are adopting to set up a T-shirt store where every T-shirt we sell earns us a commission to help fund our adoption. I emailed for an application and less than a week later our site is now live :) We've added the widget on the right side of the blog, or the direct link for that is: www.adoptionbug.com/reillyadve
We were also blessed this week with a large monetary gift to help bring our kiddos home and that was unexpected, but also a big answer to prayer. It is such an overwhelming blessing to see how God is meeting us every step of the way through this whole process.
God has been and continues to be a big presence in this entire adoption adventure and I feel privileged to be a part of it. I am so looking forward to the day our family grows beyond our current size of a family of four!
A week ago, as I was coming home from a weekend training for work, I stopped at the mailbox to find our adoption agency had approved our initial application and a packet full of forms to begin the home study process. It is both thrilling and overwhelming as we work through the countless pages, but I am grateful to be making progress.
Monday, I found a website that allows families who are adopting to set up a T-shirt store where every T-shirt we sell earns us a commission to help fund our adoption. I emailed for an application and less than a week later our site is now live :) We've added the widget on the right side of the blog, or the direct link for that is: www.adoptionbug.com/reillyadve
We were also blessed this week with a large monetary gift to help bring our kiddos home and that was unexpected, but also a big answer to prayer. It is such an overwhelming blessing to see how God is meeting us every step of the way through this whole process.
God has been and continues to be a big presence in this entire adoption adventure and I feel privileged to be a part of it. I am so looking forward to the day our family grows beyond our current size of a family of four!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Peace
Bear with me through this post... One of the biggest reasons I began this blog was to record this adoption adventure so that we as a family can look back and remember each step of the way. Yes, I also use the blog to share, but it also allows a means to process and record the adventure for myself.
So, tonight I had quite an emotional break through. The last couple weeks I've been worried about just how we were going to afford to bring our kiddos home - this has been a worry from the start, but it has been particularly pressing recently. I've spent many a nights researching grants, loans, fundraising ideas and then processing them all in my head when I should probably be sleeping.
Unfortunately worry can lead to doubt and doubt has led to a fear this adoption will not ever happen because we simply cannot afford it on our own. How on earth will we be able to afford the fees that surmount to well over a year's salary, not to mention me taking a year off of work to literally move to the Dominican Republic until the adoption is finalized? How will we afford the housing down there on top of our mortgage up here? How will we afford for Ben to go back and forth between the U.S. and the D.R. so he can continue to work and yet also see his family? How? How? How?
I have literally been losing sleep as these questions and so many more rattle through my head.
But, I've also been praying and asking others to pray for us too.
Tonight brought our usual Wednesday night routine, which just so happened to include my women's Bible study group which we've been reading the book "Lord, Give me a heart for You" by Kay Arthur. As I drove to church I continued to pray and this time I truly cast my worries on Him.
"God, we cannot do this adoption on our own. God, give us the wisdom and discernment as we raise the funds we will need to bring our kiddos home. God, please, calm my heart - give me a heart for YOU."
The prayer request sheet was passed around at the beginning and I wrote my prayer on the paper and thought that was that. Class started and I began to delve into our study. Time to focus, Jessica, I told myself - stop worrying about the adoption and just enjoy the class.
We've been studying 2 Corinthians and it has been a profound experience to study during the week and then get to discuss with my fellow sisters in Christ each Wednesday. Tonight, especially so.
God used tonight's discussion to speak to me and give me an incredible peace. As the time passed, words were jumping out from the paper to me in a way I had overlooked before. By the time we were nearing the end of class I was doing my best to fight back tears and ultimately I just had to share what I was experiencing out loud.
I knew I would cry and didn't know how to put into words the peace God was giving me, but I simply had to share. Now, I really do not like to cry in front of anyone else. These were not tears of sadness, but utter peace. Peace that God is with us in this adoption adventure every step of the way.
Tonight's class was discussing what Paul wrote about giving. This adoption may not be what I generally think of as giving, but the principles Paul outlined in 2 Corinthians 9 allowed God to answer my prayers and calm my anxious heart.
"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed." 2 Corinthians 9:8
What an awesome peace this verse gives me! God will meet us, supplying what we need in order to adopt.
God already has met us on this adventure and there is not a doubt in my mind that He will continue to meet us and supply what we need to bring our kiddos home.
God met us when we needed to buy a larger house to grow our family. A house that was better than we had imagined we could afford.
God met us even through the Sleepy Eye nightmare, providing the funds and labor we needed to get the repairs down without going bankrupt and He met us again with reliable renters once the repairs were finished.
God met us through our tax refund this year so we can begin our home study.
God met us when we were able to get a response back so quickly from the law firm in the D.R.
God met us. God is meeting us. God will continue to meet us.
After I blubbered my way through sharing with the women in my Bible study tonight, God met me through prayer. Our group leader closed class praying for Ben and me and her prayer reiterated what Ben and I had just been saying to each other last night: We cannot do this on our own. The difference tonight was how this statement was now a positive, and not feeling like an impossibility.
Last night as Ben and I were talking about the insane amount of money this adoption adventure will take we realized we simply cannot do it on our own and it felt like a barrier. Tonight, I still know we cannot do this on our own, but what an awesome testimony this is! What a peace it is to know we cannot do this on our own, because it can only happen with God and He WILL provide. Thank you, GOD!
What a privilege it is to be on this adoption adventure.
So, tonight I had quite an emotional break through. The last couple weeks I've been worried about just how we were going to afford to bring our kiddos home - this has been a worry from the start, but it has been particularly pressing recently. I've spent many a nights researching grants, loans, fundraising ideas and then processing them all in my head when I should probably be sleeping.
Unfortunately worry can lead to doubt and doubt has led to a fear this adoption will not ever happen because we simply cannot afford it on our own. How on earth will we be able to afford the fees that surmount to well over a year's salary, not to mention me taking a year off of work to literally move to the Dominican Republic until the adoption is finalized? How will we afford the housing down there on top of our mortgage up here? How will we afford for Ben to go back and forth between the U.S. and the D.R. so he can continue to work and yet also see his family? How? How? How?
I have literally been losing sleep as these questions and so many more rattle through my head.
But, I've also been praying and asking others to pray for us too.
Tonight brought our usual Wednesday night routine, which just so happened to include my women's Bible study group which we've been reading the book "Lord, Give me a heart for You" by Kay Arthur. As I drove to church I continued to pray and this time I truly cast my worries on Him.
"God, we cannot do this adoption on our own. God, give us the wisdom and discernment as we raise the funds we will need to bring our kiddos home. God, please, calm my heart - give me a heart for YOU."
The prayer request sheet was passed around at the beginning and I wrote my prayer on the paper and thought that was that. Class started and I began to delve into our study. Time to focus, Jessica, I told myself - stop worrying about the adoption and just enjoy the class.
We've been studying 2 Corinthians and it has been a profound experience to study during the week and then get to discuss with my fellow sisters in Christ each Wednesday. Tonight, especially so.
God used tonight's discussion to speak to me and give me an incredible peace. As the time passed, words were jumping out from the paper to me in a way I had overlooked before. By the time we were nearing the end of class I was doing my best to fight back tears and ultimately I just had to share what I was experiencing out loud.
I knew I would cry and didn't know how to put into words the peace God was giving me, but I simply had to share. Now, I really do not like to cry in front of anyone else. These were not tears of sadness, but utter peace. Peace that God is with us in this adoption adventure every step of the way.
Tonight's class was discussing what Paul wrote about giving. This adoption may not be what I generally think of as giving, but the principles Paul outlined in 2 Corinthians 9 allowed God to answer my prayers and calm my anxious heart.
"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed." 2 Corinthians 9:8
What an awesome peace this verse gives me! God will meet us, supplying what we need in order to adopt.
God already has met us on this adventure and there is not a doubt in my mind that He will continue to meet us and supply what we need to bring our kiddos home.
God met us when we needed to buy a larger house to grow our family. A house that was better than we had imagined we could afford.
God met us even through the Sleepy Eye nightmare, providing the funds and labor we needed to get the repairs down without going bankrupt and He met us again with reliable renters once the repairs were finished.
God met us through our tax refund this year so we can begin our home study.
God met us when we were able to get a response back so quickly from the law firm in the D.R.
God met us. God is meeting us. God will continue to meet us.
After I blubbered my way through sharing with the women in my Bible study tonight, God met me through prayer. Our group leader closed class praying for Ben and me and her prayer reiterated what Ben and I had just been saying to each other last night: We cannot do this on our own. The difference tonight was how this statement was now a positive, and not feeling like an impossibility.
Last night as Ben and I were talking about the insane amount of money this adoption adventure will take we realized we simply cannot do it on our own and it felt like a barrier. Tonight, I still know we cannot do this on our own, but what an awesome testimony this is! What a peace it is to know we cannot do this on our own, because it can only happen with God and He WILL provide. Thank you, GOD!
What a privilege it is to be on this adoption adventure.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Hope
Last Thursday we oficially mailed of our "Request for Services" (aka application) with Hope Adoption Services to get started on at least our home study portion of the U.S. side of the adoption. Both Ben and I can't help but feel like the name of the adoption agency is quite fitting.
You see, when we first started researching adoptions in the Dominican Republic we found a home study only agency we had planned to use since there were no agencies near us that handled adoptions from the Dominican Republic. However, 14 months later when we called them again to actually apply we were informed they are no longer doing international home studies. What?! We thought we had this portion of the adoption adventure already determined and here we were back to square one.
This prompted a series of phone calls, emails, research into countless other adoption agencies local to us. Pretty much every one of them had the same answer: "We can only do the home study if you are going through one of the countries we already have a program for." Agency after agency seemed like a dead end. And then there was Hope.
Hope emailed back after my mom had contacted them for us (she has worked as a county adoption social worker for as long as I can remember). They told us they would be looking into it and asked me to give them a call. I called them on Good Friday and it was clear she had been researching Dominican Republic adoptions and knew the same story we did: their adoptions are not "like other countries" and it is common to go straight through the law firm down there. We had a great conversation and she said they would be willing to help us fulfill our U.S. end of the adoption while coordinating with the Dominican lawyers.
An agency that was willing to work with us through a program they didn't previously have truly gave us that glimmer of hope. On top of that, my mom knows them to be a respectable agency and true to their agreements.
So, after our Dominican conference call and continued prayer, Thursday we reached the point of mailing out that "Request for Services" to begin the home study phase. Thank you, Lord, for hope - in so many senses of that word.
You see, when we first started researching adoptions in the Dominican Republic we found a home study only agency we had planned to use since there were no agencies near us that handled adoptions from the Dominican Republic. However, 14 months later when we called them again to actually apply we were informed they are no longer doing international home studies. What?! We thought we had this portion of the adoption adventure already determined and here we were back to square one.
This prompted a series of phone calls, emails, research into countless other adoption agencies local to us. Pretty much every one of them had the same answer: "We can only do the home study if you are going through one of the countries we already have a program for." Agency after agency seemed like a dead end. And then there was Hope.
Hope emailed back after my mom had contacted them for us (she has worked as a county adoption social worker for as long as I can remember). They told us they would be looking into it and asked me to give them a call. I called them on Good Friday and it was clear she had been researching Dominican Republic adoptions and knew the same story we did: their adoptions are not "like other countries" and it is common to go straight through the law firm down there. We had a great conversation and she said they would be willing to help us fulfill our U.S. end of the adoption while coordinating with the Dominican lawyers.
An agency that was willing to work with us through a program they didn't previously have truly gave us that glimmer of hope. On top of that, my mom knows them to be a respectable agency and true to their agreements.
So, after our Dominican conference call and continued prayer, Thursday we reached the point of mailing out that "Request for Services" to begin the home study phase. Thank you, Lord, for hope - in so many senses of that word.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Conference Call
Today we had our first phone conversation with the lawyer in the Dominican Republic. Ben and I both had butterflies as we waited for the call. It was definitely a day of excitement, (temporary) let down and then excitement again.
The call was schedule to be at 3:00pm. Ben took off early from work to meet me at my work so we'd be together for the call, but not driving all the way home only to have to head back north to pick up our girlies. He arrived at 2:45 and we were both giddy with excitement. We knew it would be a longish 15 minutes as we awaited the call. About 5 minutes before 3:00 I confessed to Ben I was scared the call would not come and we would continue in "limbo land".
Three o'clock came and the phone did not ring. We decided to wait together until 3:30 when we would have to split up in order for each of us to pick up the kiddos - one from school and one from daycare.
Each. Minute. Passed. So. Slowly. as we waited for a call to come. When it got to 3:20 I decided to email the lawyer to verify she would be calling us and that she wasn't waiting for us to call her. Not that I was really expecting a reply, but I figured at least we'd cover our bases. We continued to wait 10 more minutes before Ben would have to leave in order to get to Shannon's school on time.
3:30 came and we regretably parted ways without a conference call. My fear of no phone call this afternoon seemed to be true. I got in my car, doing my best to fight the tears but they still came. With the tears, came prayer.
Why God? Wait, I don't need to know why, but please, God, give me peace. Help me to accept the absence of the phone call.
No sooner was my prayer over (and Ben out of sight so I couldn't wave him down) when my phone rang. Sure enough, it was our lawyer apologizing for the delay but asking if now was still a good time. I explained I could talk, but unfortunately my husband had just left to pick up our daughter from school.
Time for another prayer. God, I really wish Ben was here for the call too. Then I looked in my rearview mirror and Ben was right behind me. I pulled over, he got the clue and we were able to have the conference call together.
What an awesome experience to have prayers answered so quickly! Our conference call revealed we've done our research well. There were no major surprises and we are excited to soon start our adoption study and get the ball rolling on the U.S. side of this adoption adventure.
I looked forward to this afternoon since it was first scheduled and ran through what the phone call might be like in my head over and over. I was prepared for that part. What I was not prepared for was God's clear and direct answer to prayer and a glimpse into His plan for this adoption adventure. Prayers were answered and God has given me a renewed peace that He is in control. This afternoon had us wait, but He still answered our prayers. I know there will definitely be more times of waiting ahead of us, but I know God is in control and He will answer our prayers. This adoption will happen in His timing and I am so excited to be a part of it.
The call was schedule to be at 3:00pm. Ben took off early from work to meet me at my work so we'd be together for the call, but not driving all the way home only to have to head back north to pick up our girlies. He arrived at 2:45 and we were both giddy with excitement. We knew it would be a longish 15 minutes as we awaited the call. About 5 minutes before 3:00 I confessed to Ben I was scared the call would not come and we would continue in "limbo land".
Three o'clock came and the phone did not ring. We decided to wait together until 3:30 when we would have to split up in order for each of us to pick up the kiddos - one from school and one from daycare.
Each. Minute. Passed. So. Slowly. as we waited for a call to come. When it got to 3:20 I decided to email the lawyer to verify she would be calling us and that she wasn't waiting for us to call her. Not that I was really expecting a reply, but I figured at least we'd cover our bases. We continued to wait 10 more minutes before Ben would have to leave in order to get to Shannon's school on time.
3:30 came and we regretably parted ways without a conference call. My fear of no phone call this afternoon seemed to be true. I got in my car, doing my best to fight the tears but they still came. With the tears, came prayer.
Why God? Wait, I don't need to know why, but please, God, give me peace. Help me to accept the absence of the phone call.
No sooner was my prayer over (and Ben out of sight so I couldn't wave him down) when my phone rang. Sure enough, it was our lawyer apologizing for the delay but asking if now was still a good time. I explained I could talk, but unfortunately my husband had just left to pick up our daughter from school.
Time for another prayer. God, I really wish Ben was here for the call too. Then I looked in my rearview mirror and Ben was right behind me. I pulled over, he got the clue and we were able to have the conference call together.
What an awesome experience to have prayers answered so quickly! Our conference call revealed we've done our research well. There were no major surprises and we are excited to soon start our adoption study and get the ball rolling on the U.S. side of this adoption adventure.
I looked forward to this afternoon since it was first scheduled and ran through what the phone call might be like in my head over and over. I was prepared for that part. What I was not prepared for was God's clear and direct answer to prayer and a glimpse into His plan for this adoption adventure. Prayers were answered and God has given me a renewed peace that He is in control. This afternoon had us wait, but He still answered our prayers. I know there will definitely be more times of waiting ahead of us, but I know God is in control and He will answer our prayers. This adoption will happen in His timing and I am so excited to be a part of it.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
A letter to my children
Dear Sweet Children of mine,
Two of you I am already blessed to be your mom. Blessed to hold you in my arms, to disciple you, to listen to your joys, heartbreak, and everything in between. Blessed to be a part of your everyday adventure on this thing called life.
For my children I have yet to meet, my heart already holds a special place for you. I hope someday to tell you how much I have dreamt, prayed and hoped for you. I cannot wait for the day you will join our family.
To my Shannon,
You are the one who first made me a mom. No one can ever take that place. Your arrival into this world has changed my life beyond my wildest dreams and I have a hard time remembering what life was like before being your mommy.
You made your great big entrance into this world one month before your expected due date. You have truly taught us to understand life does not always go as planned, but God's plan is so much better. Just when I think I'm figuring you out, you throw me another twist and keep me on my toes.
You have a mind that is scary smart and I cannot count the times I have simply had to stand back in awe of what you are capable of. You are so much more than "book smart". Sometimes I think you are too smart for your own good and I can see you struggle with how to deal with knowing more than you might be emotionally ready for. You have an uncanny way of seeing how things connect to one another and your heart for God is making you wise beyond your years (all 5 - almost 6 - years you've been on this earth).
You are beautiful, my sweet Nannon Bug. Your beauty does not just come from your physical appearance. You have a beautiful mind and heart. So many times you have wanted to use your own money or resources to help others. From making cards "just because", to emptying most of your piggy bank to help a Children's Hospital in Africa and then having to fight back the tears because you "wished you had more to give", to offering to give your allowance to the adoption fund to bring your future brothers or sisters home - your little heart cares so much.
I will never forget the drive last summer when we had the "just so you know" why you were talking during your nap time conversation. I was fully expecting you to tell me something along the lines of your dolly needing you or having troubles sleeping. Nothing prepared me for the conversation we had where you told me you were talking because you were asking Jesus into your heart.
Your heart for God has strengthened my own faith. So often, we grown ups think we are the ones who need to teach the kids. Time and time again, you have taught me how to have faith like a child and I pray your faith continues to grow and I am so excited to see all that God has in store for you.
To my Amelia,
You have a joy for life more than anyone else I know. Your smile is infectious and has a unique way of melting away any "rainy day". You can find utter delight in the simplest of things and you have taught me not to overlook the small blessings in life.
You have so much personality couped up into your tiny little body. So often you are so full of joy your little feet hardly touch the ground - you simply flutter across the room. You smile with your whole body and my heart melts every time I see it. Countless mornings I've woken you up to be greeted with a grin from ear to ear and hear you declare with pure elation "I had good dreams!"
You even take great joy in simply sharing a snuggle with those you love. Sometimes you will come to me and say "Mom, I just need to give you a hug." Your snuggles share your joy, your love, your heart.
But beyond your joy comes a capacity for empathy of others. You hear others beyond their words. You have a particular way of feeling what they are saying. When your grandma told you a story of me, your mommy, being scared as a little girl you responded as if you were there. Your face scrunched and your voice trembled as you imagined the fear and for weeks after you kept telling me how "Mommy, you were scared and I helped make you feel better". It took me a long time to convince you that story happened before you were born.
You wear your emotions on your face and some moments I simply sit back and watch you talk to me with such passion and expression. You are my passionate child. I pray your passionate personality allows you to have a passion for God that is as infectious as your smile.
To my future babes,
I may not know who you are yet, but God is already bringing us together. I wonder, do you feel my prayers for you? My heart is bursting with love for you and I haven't even met you. How is it possible to love you so much already?
I dream of the day I will be able to recount moments, memories, life together. For now, I am revelling in each step we make towards growing our family to include you. Your two sisters have changed my life in such indescribably awesome, yet incredibly unique ways. I can only imagine what my life will be like once you join our adventure as a family.
Tonight, I am counting the hours until our conference call with the adoption lawyers on Friday afternoon. I know God has a plan for our family and He will provide the resources we need to bring us all together. For now sweet babes, I will continue to dream, pray and hope for you.
To all my children,
I love you, I love you, I love you.
Mom
Two of you I am already blessed to be your mom. Blessed to hold you in my arms, to disciple you, to listen to your joys, heartbreak, and everything in between. Blessed to be a part of your everyday adventure on this thing called life.
For my children I have yet to meet, my heart already holds a special place for you. I hope someday to tell you how much I have dreamt, prayed and hoped for you. I cannot wait for the day you will join our family.
To my Shannon,
You are the one who first made me a mom. No one can ever take that place. Your arrival into this world has changed my life beyond my wildest dreams and I have a hard time remembering what life was like before being your mommy.
You made your great big entrance into this world one month before your expected due date. You have truly taught us to understand life does not always go as planned, but God's plan is so much better. Just when I think I'm figuring you out, you throw me another twist and keep me on my toes.
You have a mind that is scary smart and I cannot count the times I have simply had to stand back in awe of what you are capable of. You are so much more than "book smart". Sometimes I think you are too smart for your own good and I can see you struggle with how to deal with knowing more than you might be emotionally ready for. You have an uncanny way of seeing how things connect to one another and your heart for God is making you wise beyond your years (all 5 - almost 6 - years you've been on this earth).
You are beautiful, my sweet Nannon Bug. Your beauty does not just come from your physical appearance. You have a beautiful mind and heart. So many times you have wanted to use your own money or resources to help others. From making cards "just because", to emptying most of your piggy bank to help a Children's Hospital in Africa and then having to fight back the tears because you "wished you had more to give", to offering to give your allowance to the adoption fund to bring your future brothers or sisters home - your little heart cares so much.
I will never forget the drive last summer when we had the "just so you know" why you were talking during your nap time conversation. I was fully expecting you to tell me something along the lines of your dolly needing you or having troubles sleeping. Nothing prepared me for the conversation we had where you told me you were talking because you were asking Jesus into your heart.
Your heart for God has strengthened my own faith. So often, we grown ups think we are the ones who need to teach the kids. Time and time again, you have taught me how to have faith like a child and I pray your faith continues to grow and I am so excited to see all that God has in store for you.
To my Amelia,
You have a joy for life more than anyone else I know. Your smile is infectious and has a unique way of melting away any "rainy day". You can find utter delight in the simplest of things and you have taught me not to overlook the small blessings in life.
You have so much personality couped up into your tiny little body. So often you are so full of joy your little feet hardly touch the ground - you simply flutter across the room. You smile with your whole body and my heart melts every time I see it. Countless mornings I've woken you up to be greeted with a grin from ear to ear and hear you declare with pure elation "I had good dreams!"
You even take great joy in simply sharing a snuggle with those you love. Sometimes you will come to me and say "Mom, I just need to give you a hug." Your snuggles share your joy, your love, your heart.
But beyond your joy comes a capacity for empathy of others. You hear others beyond their words. You have a particular way of feeling what they are saying. When your grandma told you a story of me, your mommy, being scared as a little girl you responded as if you were there. Your face scrunched and your voice trembled as you imagined the fear and for weeks after you kept telling me how "Mommy, you were scared and I helped make you feel better". It took me a long time to convince you that story happened before you were born.
You wear your emotions on your face and some moments I simply sit back and watch you talk to me with such passion and expression. You are my passionate child. I pray your passionate personality allows you to have a passion for God that is as infectious as your smile.
To my future babes,
I may not know who you are yet, but God is already bringing us together. I wonder, do you feel my prayers for you? My heart is bursting with love for you and I haven't even met you. How is it possible to love you so much already?
I dream of the day I will be able to recount moments, memories, life together. For now, I am revelling in each step we make towards growing our family to include you. Your two sisters have changed my life in such indescribably awesome, yet incredibly unique ways. I can only imagine what my life will be like once you join our adventure as a family.
Tonight, I am counting the hours until our conference call with the adoption lawyers on Friday afternoon. I know God has a plan for our family and He will provide the resources we need to bring us all together. For now sweet babes, I will continue to dream, pray and hope for you.
To all my children,
I love you, I love you, I love you.
Mom
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Poco a poco
Since that New Year's Eve nearly 15 months ago, not a day has gone by where I don't think and pray about my future children. I wish I could say we are so much farther along in the adoption process than we really are. Oh, how I long to meet those kiddos that will someday join our family - to see them, to cuddle them, to kiss them, to teach them, to play with them, to live life as a family with them.
A lot has happened both good and bad since being called to adopt from the Dominican Republic. We've been blessed to find a home that was better than we could have asked for, our girls excitement and questions about the adoption continues to grow. Still, I feel like we've only just begun. So many "life doesn't always go as we planned" bumps in the road have come up and our savings for the adoption have been consumed, mostly on the Sleepy Eye rental house.
But, through it all, we've been blessed. Am I glad we had to endure the nightmare that was the Sleepy Eye damage? NO! There is definitely a big part of me that resents having to drain our entire adoption fund and more into a house we wish we no longer owned. However, God has continued to provide for all our needs and even bless us beyond our expectations.
It's been a little over three weeks since ending our every weekend trips down to continue repairs. We had the help of friends and family and even were able to enjoy some genuine fellowship through the tears. We now have reliable renters and I am beginning to feel the stress and exhaustion slowly melt away.
We purposely set aside the month of March to refocus on family time after so many weekends spent apart. Initially I thought that meant simply focusing on the family we are now, putting the adoption on hold temporarily. But that yearning simply became even stronger. Simple, little, daily conversations so easily turned to the adoption. Even the girls have seemed more curious about it - Amelia asking when she will have more brothers and sisters, Shannon telling me she can't wait to show new brothers or sisters this or that.
We decided to contact the law firm in the Dominican Republic who handles all the adoptions to get more information from them directly since we've been having a hard time finding an adoption agency anywhere in the U.S. that has actual experience with completed adoptions from the DR. Within 24 hours they responded back to us and we've also begun looking into more ways to save/raise funds to bring our kids home someday.
And so, tonight, while I know there is so much more of our adventure ahead of us than behind us, I am thrilled to report we officially have been assigned a lawyer! We will be on a conference call with them soon to discuss the details of adopting. They can help us with everything on the DR end and we are waiting to receive the application for our home study from a local home study organization right here in MN and begin the process on the U.S. end. We look forward to starting our homestudy soon and will continue to take this adoption adventure day by day and know that God has a plan for our growing family.
We've got a great big adventure ahead of us and I know God will provide us with all that we need: the patience, the finances, the love, the grace and so much more. My heart is overflowing with excitement to continue on this adventure and see it all unfold for my growing family.
A lot has happened both good and bad since being called to adopt from the Dominican Republic. We've been blessed to find a home that was better than we could have asked for, our girls excitement and questions about the adoption continues to grow. Still, I feel like we've only just begun. So many "life doesn't always go as we planned" bumps in the road have come up and our savings for the adoption have been consumed, mostly on the Sleepy Eye rental house.
But, through it all, we've been blessed. Am I glad we had to endure the nightmare that was the Sleepy Eye damage? NO! There is definitely a big part of me that resents having to drain our entire adoption fund and more into a house we wish we no longer owned. However, God has continued to provide for all our needs and even bless us beyond our expectations.
It's been a little over three weeks since ending our every weekend trips down to continue repairs. We had the help of friends and family and even were able to enjoy some genuine fellowship through the tears. We now have reliable renters and I am beginning to feel the stress and exhaustion slowly melt away.
We purposely set aside the month of March to refocus on family time after so many weekends spent apart. Initially I thought that meant simply focusing on the family we are now, putting the adoption on hold temporarily. But that yearning simply became even stronger. Simple, little, daily conversations so easily turned to the adoption. Even the girls have seemed more curious about it - Amelia asking when she will have more brothers and sisters, Shannon telling me she can't wait to show new brothers or sisters this or that.
We decided to contact the law firm in the Dominican Republic who handles all the adoptions to get more information from them directly since we've been having a hard time finding an adoption agency anywhere in the U.S. that has actual experience with completed adoptions from the DR. Within 24 hours they responded back to us and we've also begun looking into more ways to save/raise funds to bring our kids home someday.
And so, tonight, while I know there is so much more of our adventure ahead of us than behind us, I am thrilled to report we officially have been assigned a lawyer! We will be on a conference call with them soon to discuss the details of adopting. They can help us with everything on the DR end and we are waiting to receive the application for our home study from a local home study organization right here in MN and begin the process on the U.S. end. We look forward to starting our homestudy soon and will continue to take this adoption adventure day by day and know that God has a plan for our growing family.
We've got a great big adventure ahead of us and I know God will provide us with all that we need: the patience, the finances, the love, the grace and so much more. My heart is overflowing with excitement to continue on this adventure and see it all unfold for my growing family.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
A light at the end of the tunnel?
Unfortunately the money we had previously saved for the adoption has been consumed in our rental nightmare situation with the house in Sleepy Eye. After a difficult battle resulting in going to court to persue an unlawful detainer, much of our time and finances have been devoted to repairing the damage to get it back on the rental market (although we would LOVE to sell the house, the market does not suggest that happening any time soon).
Ben has been travelling down to Sleepy Eye nearly every weekend since the beginning of December working on this house. Every last penny that was saved for the adoption - Ben's car repair income from last winter, my summer school salary, and various other bonuses, etc - has been consumed to repair a house we rented to someone we thought needed a fresh start. Unfortunately, this person used and abused the house beyond our wildest imagination and we have been left with the aftermath.
So, weekends have not been relaxing family time for nearly 3 months. Ben is running ragged, my body aches and our girls have been feeling the loss of family time - especially our sensitive Shannon.
It has literally been a living nightmare...
However, in my best attempt to avoid becoming jaded I've been choosing to focus on the blessings and miracles that have popped up through this nightmare:
Perhaps one of the biggest blessings has been my incredibly handy husband. Yes, our finances have taken a major hit from all this, but we would very likely be bankrupt if Ben were not able to do all of these repairs himself. He has endured long weekends away from his family to go down and repair/remodel a basement flooded 8 inches deep in sewage, remove destroyed carpet and refinish the hardwood floors we discovered underneath, replace the bathtub/shower surround and plumbing, tear down and replace the entire kitchen ceiling, amongst countless other repairs/updates. I don't even want to fathom what the bill could have been had we hired someone to do all this.
Another HUGE blessing has been that of our family and church family. Both our dads and Ben's brother have come down on more than one occasion to help through all this (including, but not limited to having to throw away the clothes they were wearing after removing the sewage damage), and both sets of parents have also helped to take care of the girls on the weekends I've come down as well. I am so thankful to know my girls are loved when I have to be away.
Aside from our supportive family members we have also, once again, learned the blessing of an amazing church family. Countless people have been lifting us up in prayers - which is a blessing in and of itself - and we've also been blessed with a crew of friends in our mini-congregation (small group) who gave up not one, but TWO Saturdays to drive 4 hours round trip and help make some major progress with painting, demolition of a leaky ceiling, carpet installation and more. The fellowship we had on those Saturdays provided us with help, but also gave us big boost in our attitudes through all this.
A big miracle happened two weeks ago when Ben encouraged me to list the house for rent even though the repairs were not complete. I was hesistant because I didn't feel like the house was "show ready", but decided to create a post on Craigslist anyway. Within 24 hours we had nearly a dozen people interested including a couple who wanted to see the house that weekend. They came to the house and were able to look past all the repairs in progress and agreed to rent the house beginning in March. She is moving to the area to work in law enforcement and we could not be more excited to have some rental income coming back in to relieve the strain on our finances.
So, today is the Thursday before our final weekend of repairs before the new tenants move in. We are exhausted beyond comprehension, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I can't help but wonder if the repairs took so long to save the house for the right tenants and am praying these tenants can enjoy the house as their home.
For me, one of the hardest things about this whole situation has been seeing everything we had saved for the adoption slip through our hands to be spent on a house we wish we no longer had. However, I am trusting that God has a plan as we move forward towards the adoption and it will happen in His way and in His timing.
So, once we have made it to the other side of this tunnel (we can see the light, but we're not quite done yet), we plan to take some time to refocus on our little family. Then, with the blessing of this year's tax refund we are hoping to start the home study and get this adoption process going. Do I have any idea where all the money will come from? No, but God does. I trust HE knows what He is doing and in the meantime I am looking forward to weekends with our family of 4 until it becomes a family of 6 or maybe more.
For all of you who may have helped or prayed us through all of this - THANK YOU.
Ben has been travelling down to Sleepy Eye nearly every weekend since the beginning of December working on this house. Every last penny that was saved for the adoption - Ben's car repair income from last winter, my summer school salary, and various other bonuses, etc - has been consumed to repair a house we rented to someone we thought needed a fresh start. Unfortunately, this person used and abused the house beyond our wildest imagination and we have been left with the aftermath.
So, weekends have not been relaxing family time for nearly 3 months. Ben is running ragged, my body aches and our girls have been feeling the loss of family time - especially our sensitive Shannon.
It has literally been a living nightmare...
However, in my best attempt to avoid becoming jaded I've been choosing to focus on the blessings and miracles that have popped up through this nightmare:
Perhaps one of the biggest blessings has been my incredibly handy husband. Yes, our finances have taken a major hit from all this, but we would very likely be bankrupt if Ben were not able to do all of these repairs himself. He has endured long weekends away from his family to go down and repair/remodel a basement flooded 8 inches deep in sewage, remove destroyed carpet and refinish the hardwood floors we discovered underneath, replace the bathtub/shower surround and plumbing, tear down and replace the entire kitchen ceiling, amongst countless other repairs/updates. I don't even want to fathom what the bill could have been had we hired someone to do all this.
Another HUGE blessing has been that of our family and church family. Both our dads and Ben's brother have come down on more than one occasion to help through all this (including, but not limited to having to throw away the clothes they were wearing after removing the sewage damage), and both sets of parents have also helped to take care of the girls on the weekends I've come down as well. I am so thankful to know my girls are loved when I have to be away.
Aside from our supportive family members we have also, once again, learned the blessing of an amazing church family. Countless people have been lifting us up in prayers - which is a blessing in and of itself - and we've also been blessed with a crew of friends in our mini-congregation (small group) who gave up not one, but TWO Saturdays to drive 4 hours round trip and help make some major progress with painting, demolition of a leaky ceiling, carpet installation and more. The fellowship we had on those Saturdays provided us with help, but also gave us big boost in our attitudes through all this.
A big miracle happened two weeks ago when Ben encouraged me to list the house for rent even though the repairs were not complete. I was hesistant because I didn't feel like the house was "show ready", but decided to create a post on Craigslist anyway. Within 24 hours we had nearly a dozen people interested including a couple who wanted to see the house that weekend. They came to the house and were able to look past all the repairs in progress and agreed to rent the house beginning in March. She is moving to the area to work in law enforcement and we could not be more excited to have some rental income coming back in to relieve the strain on our finances.
So, today is the Thursday before our final weekend of repairs before the new tenants move in. We are exhausted beyond comprehension, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I can't help but wonder if the repairs took so long to save the house for the right tenants and am praying these tenants can enjoy the house as their home.
For me, one of the hardest things about this whole situation has been seeing everything we had saved for the adoption slip through our hands to be spent on a house we wish we no longer had. However, I am trusting that God has a plan as we move forward towards the adoption and it will happen in His way and in His timing.
So, once we have made it to the other side of this tunnel (we can see the light, but we're not quite done yet), we plan to take some time to refocus on our little family. Then, with the blessing of this year's tax refund we are hoping to start the home study and get this adoption process going. Do I have any idea where all the money will come from? No, but God does. I trust HE knows what He is doing and in the meantime I am looking forward to weekends with our family of 4 until it becomes a family of 6 or maybe more.
For all of you who may have helped or prayed us through all of this - THANK YOU.
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| Water line from the sewage flood |
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| Mold on the walls before they were removed |
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| The basement once all the sewage damage was removed |
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| New walls and carpet in the basement |
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| The leaky kitchen ceiling that had to be demolished from the bathtub overflowing |
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| What we found after removing the carpet that had been destroyed |
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| Ben's amazing job on the hardwood floors - post sanding and varnishing. |
Friday, January 18, 2013
"Bad Mommy! You're so mean!"
Yep, those words were screamed at me at the top of her lungs right outside her school this Friday afternoon... surrounded by other parents picking up their kids... standing next to her carpool buddy... yep, those words.
Let me rewind. I left work at 3:30 today ending a long week at work, eager to start a three day weekend. I'd been playing catch-up from missing 5 days from taking care of a sick little Missy Moo for 8 days of feverish influenza. On top of that, I'd spent this week checking in with my co-Spanish teacher's subs as he had been out all week, also with the flu. My desk is a mess and my work to-do list is growing, but it was FRIDAY.
I left work, knowing my hubby would be MIA at home to head down to Sleepy Eye to check on the rental house and continue repairs while I would be home with the girls. Nearly two months of this Friday evening routine and I am definitely longing for a Friday night with all of us home. But, I had decided to make the best of the solo-parent night and was planning a popcorn and movie night with my little lovies. I had even let the girlies in on my plans and we all left the house this morning excited to snuggle up on the couch together this evening, fresh-popped corn in our bowl and new animated movie on the TV.
These plans were running through my head all day and I coudn't wait to pick each kiddo up from daycare/school and get started on our Mommy-daughters night. I drive up to daycare first, looking forward to my joyous Amelia's smile. Instead I walk in the door to find her on modified time-out (reading books on the couch rather than free play) because she had chosen to have playtime during what should have been naptime - something that has been occurring more often than not these days.
She hopped down from the couch, walked over to me and promptly annouces "Mommy, I not take a good nap today." This kid is cute even when she is naughty and I'm pretty sure she knows it and uses it to her advantage. Trying my best not to give into her infectious smile this time, I responded by telling her "Well, I guess that means you'll have to go to bed early instead of getting to stay up watching a movie." Suddenly her smile is gone and I feel horrible, but I must stay firm.
Darn it! I really wanted my two-year-old power snuggler on my lap tonight. Oh well, at least I can still watch the movie with Shannon, and off to her school we go to pick her up and her carpool buddy.
I walk into the cafeteria to sign Shannon and her buddy out and I can instantly tell something is off with her. "How was your field trip to the Science Museum?" I ask them both. Carpool buddy: "Cool!", Shannon: "Bad." "Bad?" I ask. "Yeah, too much climbing stairs," she responds. I little confused, I decide I will talk with her more about it when we get home, but first I must load all three kiddos into the van so I can meet up with our carpool family at our usual drop off location on time.
We walk over to the sign-out table, sign out both kindergarteners and head to the door. Shannon tries to hold Amelia's hand and Amelia refuses because she would rather hold carpool buddy's hand who she really only sees once a week since Ben normally picks them up from school - except on Fridays. My mommy spidey sense sees the disappointment on Shannon's face that Amelia doesn't want to hold her big sister's hand, but I can also understand Amelia's excitement to see someone she doesn't get to see everyday.
I try to smooth things over by suggesting to Amelia she holds both their hands, but I am too late. Shannon has already begun the ever-dreaded public screaming tantrum - this time at school. I remind her this is not how we get what we want and proceed to walk all the kidlets out of the school to the car, Shannon still screaming and yelling, but at least she is staying with us. I decide to ignore it, despite the countless looks we were getting from fellow parents.
We arrive to the van and I ask Shannon to sit in the back so carpool buddy is next to the door when we drop him off and he won't have to climb past anyone else. That's when it happens. Those blood curdling screams and the words "Bad Mommy! You're so mean!" accompanied by a swift punch to my already aching arm from my RA. Man, now they've BOTH lost our snuggle on the couch movie night.
The drive home was cold, even though the heater in our van works a little too well. Shannon's stares were aimed right at my seat the whole way to carpool drop-off. At the drop-off location, she moves up to her normal seat - recently vacated by carpool buddy. I make sure she is buckled up and safe and then head home. I've already decided both my girls need and deserve a one-on-one, face-to-face converstation with me about their choices and I wasn't going to discuss it while driving and them to my back.
The silence is killing me, as is the loss of a fun night with my girls - probably me more than them. When we finally did pull up to our garage, I look back to see Shannon completely passed out. My daughter is an amazingly sweet kid, but lack of sleep can change her like nothing else. Sort of a Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde kind of a change. And, we had just completed two late-ish nights in a row on school nights.
We stumble into the house, weighed down with our winter gear, backpacks, lunch bags and the like, AND our movie night no longer in play. I try to justify in my head a way we can still make it happen, but then I remind myself I must be firm. Oh, but I really wanted to do the movie night tonight and I really do NOT want to have the mommy-talk with them about their behavior. Still, I must follow through.
Each one has their "mommy-talk" and it goes surprisingly well. Amelia has told me multiple times since our chat she will "take a nice nap next week, willy (really) I will". Granted, time will tell if she will actually follow through, but she seems eager to do so for the moment. Shannon gave me a sincere apology and she was able to articulate her feelings in a manner more mature than her years.
After our chats I ask them if they can play nicely while I cook dinner and they actually did! We eat dinner and, what usually is a marathon battle to get Amelia to eat her food, it all gets consumed quite quickly and Shannon declares it was her best dinner she's ever eaten and her new favorite meal.
Dinner was followed by baths full of giggles and grins and we ended the night with books and songs and snuggles and both girls were tucked into bed 45 minutes to an hour early, but with smiles on their faces and knowing they are loved.
So, tonight did not go as hoped and planned. But, by the grace of God, it still managed to end on a good note and I was still able to have a fun mommy-daughters night (albeit modified) and I am looking forward to the three-day weekend ahead.
Let me rewind. I left work at 3:30 today ending a long week at work, eager to start a three day weekend. I'd been playing catch-up from missing 5 days from taking care of a sick little Missy Moo for 8 days of feverish influenza. On top of that, I'd spent this week checking in with my co-Spanish teacher's subs as he had been out all week, also with the flu. My desk is a mess and my work to-do list is growing, but it was FRIDAY.
I left work, knowing my hubby would be MIA at home to head down to Sleepy Eye to check on the rental house and continue repairs while I would be home with the girls. Nearly two months of this Friday evening routine and I am definitely longing for a Friday night with all of us home. But, I had decided to make the best of the solo-parent night and was planning a popcorn and movie night with my little lovies. I had even let the girlies in on my plans and we all left the house this morning excited to snuggle up on the couch together this evening, fresh-popped corn in our bowl and new animated movie on the TV.
These plans were running through my head all day and I coudn't wait to pick each kiddo up from daycare/school and get started on our Mommy-daughters night. I drive up to daycare first, looking forward to my joyous Amelia's smile. Instead I walk in the door to find her on modified time-out (reading books on the couch rather than free play) because she had chosen to have playtime during what should have been naptime - something that has been occurring more often than not these days.
She hopped down from the couch, walked over to me and promptly annouces "Mommy, I not take a good nap today." This kid is cute even when she is naughty and I'm pretty sure she knows it and uses it to her advantage. Trying my best not to give into her infectious smile this time, I responded by telling her "Well, I guess that means you'll have to go to bed early instead of getting to stay up watching a movie." Suddenly her smile is gone and I feel horrible, but I must stay firm.
Darn it! I really wanted my two-year-old power snuggler on my lap tonight. Oh well, at least I can still watch the movie with Shannon, and off to her school we go to pick her up and her carpool buddy.
I walk into the cafeteria to sign Shannon and her buddy out and I can instantly tell something is off with her. "How was your field trip to the Science Museum?" I ask them both. Carpool buddy: "Cool!", Shannon: "Bad." "Bad?" I ask. "Yeah, too much climbing stairs," she responds. I little confused, I decide I will talk with her more about it when we get home, but first I must load all three kiddos into the van so I can meet up with our carpool family at our usual drop off location on time.
We walk over to the sign-out table, sign out both kindergarteners and head to the door. Shannon tries to hold Amelia's hand and Amelia refuses because she would rather hold carpool buddy's hand who she really only sees once a week since Ben normally picks them up from school - except on Fridays. My mommy spidey sense sees the disappointment on Shannon's face that Amelia doesn't want to hold her big sister's hand, but I can also understand Amelia's excitement to see someone she doesn't get to see everyday.
I try to smooth things over by suggesting to Amelia she holds both their hands, but I am too late. Shannon has already begun the ever-dreaded public screaming tantrum - this time at school. I remind her this is not how we get what we want and proceed to walk all the kidlets out of the school to the car, Shannon still screaming and yelling, but at least she is staying with us. I decide to ignore it, despite the countless looks we were getting from fellow parents.
We arrive to the van and I ask Shannon to sit in the back so carpool buddy is next to the door when we drop him off and he won't have to climb past anyone else. That's when it happens. Those blood curdling screams and the words "Bad Mommy! You're so mean!" accompanied by a swift punch to my already aching arm from my RA. Man, now they've BOTH lost our snuggle on the couch movie night.
The drive home was cold, even though the heater in our van works a little too well. Shannon's stares were aimed right at my seat the whole way to carpool drop-off. At the drop-off location, she moves up to her normal seat - recently vacated by carpool buddy. I make sure she is buckled up and safe and then head home. I've already decided both my girls need and deserve a one-on-one, face-to-face converstation with me about their choices and I wasn't going to discuss it while driving and them to my back.
The silence is killing me, as is the loss of a fun night with my girls - probably me more than them. When we finally did pull up to our garage, I look back to see Shannon completely passed out. My daughter is an amazingly sweet kid, but lack of sleep can change her like nothing else. Sort of a Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde kind of a change. And, we had just completed two late-ish nights in a row on school nights.
We stumble into the house, weighed down with our winter gear, backpacks, lunch bags and the like, AND our movie night no longer in play. I try to justify in my head a way we can still make it happen, but then I remind myself I must be firm. Oh, but I really wanted to do the movie night tonight and I really do NOT want to have the mommy-talk with them about their behavior. Still, I must follow through.
Each one has their "mommy-talk" and it goes surprisingly well. Amelia has told me multiple times since our chat she will "take a nice nap next week, willy (really) I will". Granted, time will tell if she will actually follow through, but she seems eager to do so for the moment. Shannon gave me a sincere apology and she was able to articulate her feelings in a manner more mature than her years.
After our chats I ask them if they can play nicely while I cook dinner and they actually did! We eat dinner and, what usually is a marathon battle to get Amelia to eat her food, it all gets consumed quite quickly and Shannon declares it was her best dinner she's ever eaten and her new favorite meal.
Dinner was followed by baths full of giggles and grins and we ended the night with books and songs and snuggles and both girls were tucked into bed 45 minutes to an hour early, but with smiles on their faces and knowing they are loved.
So, tonight did not go as hoped and planned. But, by the grace of God, it still managed to end on a good note and I was still able to have a fun mommy-daughters night (albeit modified) and I am looking forward to the three-day weekend ahead.
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